#i just dont have the words right now trust me it made me so happy 😭😭😭

[katiascraft]

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ "Maybe i should've told you i miss you. But i don't know if you feel the same" | OP81 ✧₊⁺

parings: oscar piastri x singer!reader

summary: your insecurities lead to lose the love of your life, but destiny always play its worst (or best) cards for you. in the aftermath of it all, two souls become one (again). or that's what you'd like.

inspired by: gracie abrams music ⤦

⟢ ‘almost said I miss you’ EP: tracklist

➥ track 1 - mean it

➥ track 2 - stay

➥ track 3- I miss you, I’m sorry

word count: 6k.

warnings: angst. and a little fluff. mentions of insecurieties, trauma and depression. not a native english speaker so there could be (so many) erros. not proofread.

MASTERLIST

「 ✦ The ticking clock ✦ 」

You took a deep breath. Your hands were shaking and your stress levels were at their peak.

“You are always picking fights, y/n. I'm tired, "Oscar said, clearly annoyed. Is not that you always fought or had a toxic relationship, no. but lately, things got harder between you two. Stupid fights now and then. Dead silence that creeps you out everytime. Coldness was the new dynamic you had going on. And it hurts.

Everyday hurts lately.

“Oscar, I'm not always picking fights. For fucks sake, just wanted to know why you are so cold all the time to me!” you didn't want to raise your tone but desperation never took the best out of you. He was shocked, his head disapproving. Probably done with all of this. Done with you. You didn't want to admit it but maybe it was true. 

“I'm not being cold to you, y/n. I already explained it to you: I'm tired. My job it's complicated enough to come home to be even more complicated. Just stop” he said leaving the kitchen, leaving you behind hanging in your words. That made you so you followed him down to the living room. 

“Oscar, don't leave me talking alone, please! Why do you always have to run away? I have feelings actually you know? I would love to express them to my lover so we can have a proper conversation, what do you think about that?”

“y/n, bullshit. Don't act like I'm a monster who doesn't listen to you. If i didnt we wouldn't have this argument. Stop playing the victim for once. You don't hear me out either anyway” he gritted his teeth trying not to follow you down with your anger. He didn't want to raise his voice towards you. 

“Playing victim? You're an impossible oscar. I only asked you a fucking question, what did i do wrong for you to ignore me and act so cold? And you said you're just tired and that's bullshit” you were so angry by now. Offended. Hurt by his words. Hurt by the fact you were happy once and now everything is falling apart. You never hurt this deep before. 

“It's not!” he couldn't anymore with all of this. He didn't want to raise his voice but you made him feel exasperated. “You see? You don't trust me! Im telling you im just tired and you say its bullshit and then you play the victim card that i dont listen to you and im a fucking monster? I see how things go now. I'm done” he didn't even want to look at you. He just sat on the sofa looking at the floor. But you heard what he said under his breath. What you were most scared of what’s happening. 

You started crying out of desperation, anxious that all of this was gonna end right there and then. You just left him there and went back to the kitchen as if that way he wouldn't see nor hear you crying. You just couldn't keep talking or being around him. Your heart was sinking.

He sighed frustrated and stood up sprinting to his studio and banging the door. You gasped hearing the door closing so violently. No that he noticed what he said. Nor that he cared you thought he didnt care you anymore, that was for sure. 

(...)

You haven't talked to Oscar since yesterday. He didn't sleep at your shared apartment. He said he didn't want to see you. That hurt a lot. Your heart was already broken. You didn't know what to do anymore. You've been on this rabbit hole for several months. You didn't understand what broke between you or when it was. You felt confused, lonely and scared. What would your whole life be without him? Once, you only wrote love songs because what you felt for him was beyond what your body could handle so you needed to take it out. Now, you didn't write anything for months. You felt too much sadness, it felt like you didn't feel anything at all. Just emptiness. 

You were playing with your food, not really that hungry that you thought you would be. Another night alone without him. Would life be like this when he gets rid of me? I don't wanna leave. 

The doorbell rang. You frowned, not sure who it could be knowing it was almost 10pm and I couldn't sleep (just as yesterday and every time you had an argument with him). You looked through the little visor of the door seeing your boyfriend was back home. But telling from the look on his face, things wouldn't be better anyway. You opened the door after taking a deep breath not sure if you would survive another fight. 

You two just looked at each other for a few seconds. Probably analyzing how you were feeling now that 2 days have passed by. Neither of you smiled. Not that you had the energy or a reason to anymore. You moved from the door so he could get into the apartment and closed the door once he was in. 

“Did I wake you up?” he asked quietly. You swallowed hard not knowing what to say by this point.

“I can't sleep since you are gone, so. No, you didn't” you didn't want to sound cold, especially after you fought because he was acting like that with you,but you felt like shit and didnt have energy to pretend you were okay with it all. You felt miserable. He nodded without saying a word and looked at the floor for a moment. 

After a moment of really uncomfortable silence you broke it with something you didn't even think would slip out your mouth “are you seeing someone else, oscar?” your words cut through him as if they were sharp glass pieces just thrown directly at him. 

“What?” He was surprised and hurt that you thought about him like that. You shrug.

“I mean, it's not that you don't kiss me anymore, so.and i think you're not tired because of your job, i think you're just bored of me, tired of me, done with me” you sat on the kitchen table again. He followed you there but stayed standard. He was confused and hurt now. 

“When did I ever say that to you?” he was tired of all of this, for sure. But he wanted to make things work with you. He just didn't know how to.  It was hard for him to understand you, but he was trying. He finally sat in front of you staring at your plate. It was full, you kept playing with your doodles, pretending to eat like you used to. He felt so guilty for all of this. He knew at that moment. That he broke you. He didn't know how or when but he did. His face softened in sadness.

“You said it. You said you were done and you know what? I get it. I mean, it's not as if I am easy to love. I know I'm complicated and a pain in the ass for everyone so I wouldn't be surprised if you found someone else that makes you happy for real and you don't wanna tell me out of pity. I'm ready to hear it though. Just say it” your voice was empty and plain no emotion detected just numbness. He didn't want to think it was too late. It Has been a long time since he has seen you like this. At that time it wasn't him who made you feel like it. 

“I didn't mean to say it, y/N. I Was tired because of work and fighting with you. I don't like fighting with you. I wanna make things right, please. I wouldn't ever do that to you, you know it” he explained desperate for a moment. He wanted you to believe him. But your face didn't say anything. He couldn't read you and made him scared. You looked unbothered, way far gone now.  

You shook your head “i know you mean it and i know you are tired, but i don't think you really want to be with me anymore” your sincerity cut like a knife in both of you. Like, you over thought a lot about it but it still hurt. He was lost and didn't know what was going on anymore or was going through all of that. “You didn't deny it either” you continued.

“I'm not with anyone else, y/N, please” he cut you off with his deep voice, kind of cracky now. 

(...) 

You just didn't know how you ended up moaning his name once more. His mouth is in your centre. His hands are grabbing your tights. Your fingers on his hair.

How easy is it, right? To love someone. One moment, you destroy them.. Then, you fix them with makeup sex. Making them see the stars so they forget how shitty things are. So that pleasure it's more important than gentle affection. Always pretending to be sane then doing insane shit like this as if memory didn't exist when it came to you and him. As if feeling him inside you was the only thing that could fix your mind. That it was the only way to communicate properly. As if it was your love language, then ignore each other. 

His hands of your body grabbing you as if you were about to break and he was trying to keep all of your pieces together. As if he could save you or your relationship that was already 10 feet down buried. He would like to think sex could fix it. That it was the best way to communicate if then you didn't trust him. He was hurt and you didn't trust him. You were hurt because he didn't love you anymore. Unfortunately, your minds couldn't agree. You were the love of his life, he wanted to help and make you trust him. But you just didn't, you already convinced yourself he didn't love you anymore and that everyone was better than you. He wanted a team when you just wanted to run away from him. Or from yourself?

「 ✦ Destruction ✦ 」

“I'm done with you for real, y/n! Everytime an important day comes for me, you just like to ruin it!” He was mad as hell. Fed up with all your bullshit. 

“You really think I do it on purpose? oscar! “ He left the room so you started following him around your shared apartment. “I wouldn't if you didn't ignore like you always do! I don't know what to do anymore! Nothing seems enough for you!” you started crying out. Your heart couldn't take it anymore and this time it felt different. So much different than any time before.

“Why is it always my fault? Why am I always the one doing something wrong? The only thing you do is complain about me and then you just want me to kiss you?! You are insane!” His words cut you deep, so deep you thought they cut you in half and you were nothing anymore. You couldn't breathe for a moment. He called you insane just the way your parents made you feel your whole life. Maybe they were right after all. You deserved all of those years in a psychiatric hospital. You deserved even when he

 was the first one to say your parents were monsters and you were more than okay. More than normal. More than lovable. How ironic, right?You wanted to laugh but couldn't. You just couldn't move. 

Oscar realised what he said. He knew when he saw you. He felt terrible at that moment.

“Look, y/n i-” you cut him not wanting to listen to him anymore. 

“Dont talk” you said shaky under your breath. You had to sit down on the sofa because you felt you were about to faint. In shock - a lot of moments of your relationship replayed in your head. How could someone who said he loved you more than anything and anyone, end up thinking just as your parents? It was your fault. Of course it was. How could you ever think someone would love you? You were miserable. How can someone love a miserable person? 

Oscar started breathing heavily and he had to sit on the floor trying to calm down. He is always so collected and rational, these kinds of feelings he had never experienced, not even with his ex. 

“We can't be together Oscar, I make you miserable. And you're right. I'm insane, how could someone love me right? No one wants to deal with my bullshit, not even myself” you said quietly. His throat closed for a moment. He remained in silence for a few seconds processing your words. You didn't look at each other, you couldn't. Guess this was it. How sad, right? Oscar started crying realizing what was about to come.

“I promise y/N, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it that way. You aren't hard to love, actually the opposite. But yeah, i don't think this is working for us anymore whether i like it or not” he said wiping his tears away of his face as he could. 

You nodded even though you didn't hear a word he said. It was over. Your life is over.

「 ✦ time heals it all, right? ✦ 」

It's been exactly 8 months and 25 days since you and Oscar were not together anymore. Yes, you had a countdown. You created it to see how far you’ll survive because you didn't believe you would last this much. You thought your life was over and for a few weeks it was. You didn't get out of bed. The break up depression, i guess. Your friends suggested you go back to therapy because they were really worried about you and your mental health. They knew how much Oscar meant to you: he was your everything. And to be honest, that was your first mistake going into the relationship with him. 

You shouldn't have made him your everything because you were nothing suddenly when you left. You didn't know who you were without him, what you liked or what you would like to be. All of your future plans had him in them. There wasn't a future without him. He was everywhere in your life. You shaped your destiny around him. You wanted to get married and have kids with him. And you never wanted to be a mother but he had changed that until he was gone. 

You couldn't go back to dating. You tried but failed every time. You were a little too afraid to get hurt again. You had to work through your insecurities and traumas first. There was a lot of your history that needed to be let go. You needed to go through really ugly times in your past to find some perspective. Forgive yourself, putting yourself first, understanding yourself. You just worked on knowing you and becoming the person you always wanted. 

And you grew and changed so much. You felt proud of yourself. You started writing again. Creating was the best way to mourn your relationship with Oscar alongside your old self that left him. To mourn that part of you that is gone forever. Creating was what kept you sane all this time. What brought you back to life. You wrote so many songs about him. Blaming you, blaming him. Blaming the universe for not putting it easier on you. 

So music, once again, saved your life. 

Oscar’s life changed drastically. Not only by the fact he didn't have you anymore on the paddock to cheer him on, but also he didn't have you in his apartment to share his life with. He missed you everyday he woke up to an empty bed. Mourning what you had changed him forever. He blamed himself for not knowing how to get to you, how to understand you and be able to help you through it. So he started reading about psychology to learn how to understand people better. He wanted to improve his emotional intelligence. He knew that maybe you wouldn't be there anymore, probably forever, but at least he could be better to the people around him. 

He didn't date anyone. His way of mourning was trying not to think about it occupying his space and time with work and training and racing and reading. He couldn't do anything else.  

He always found himself not being able to think, wondering where you were and especially how you were. After that night, you went to cero contact. And he knew it was the best, but he couldn't get you out of his head yet. He felt guilty knowing that he can understand your needs better when it's a little too late. He just wished to press rewind and do it again but the right way this time. He knew it was impossible and that dug a hole in his heart. He knew that it would be there forever. You were the love of his life. He really thought he couldn't love anyone that way, ever again. You were a force of nature for him. Blowing him away every single time. 

You never went back to races. He knew how much you adored the sport and how in another life you would have loved to be an engineer. You dreamed of one day to see a woman on the podium. You actually sponsored two girls from F1 Academy. The boys didn't see you again either. Actually he knew you did see lando a few times because you two became really close during your relationship, but lando always lied and told him that he didn't see you. He knew Lando was trying to be a good friend. He even tried to introduce Oscar to some girls but it never worked. He tried though. But he found himself thinking that he was kissing it was you. It was heartbreaking to see. He was kind of stuck on you. 

So he decided he would take his time to grow and figure out who he was by himself. Find comfort in his own company. Doing dates  by himself. He found it cringe to call it that way but his therapist insisted on calling it that way so he could deprogram himself from you and anything and everything related to you. 

He was proud of himself though. He was doing alright again, actually enjoying his job, his friends, and his own company. He even won races, he did podiums and everything he dreamed of. But still, he hoped you didn't feel like you needed to leave to let him shine. He wished you were there every time to hug you and shower you in  champagne. 

He really missed you in his life.

「 ✦ Too far gone, don’t know where we started ✦ 」

So here you were more than a year later at the Azerbaijan GP 2024. The Mercedes team invited you as a star guest so you came with your friend because alone you would have died. Actually, before coming to the paddock you had an anxiety attack and if it wasn't for your friend who made sure you felt safe and okay to go, you would’ve been on a plane back home. It was the first time since you broke up with Oscar you felt okay enough to be able to go through it. You were invited by different teams at least 15 times now. But you always lied and said you couldn't make it. You just needed to stay at home or the studio writing as far as possible from oscar and anything related to him. But you went through all of that with your therapist and she said that if you liked the sport and you really enjoyed races or anything related to it, you shouldn't let Oscar or the thought of him or what happened, deprive you of it. 

It was sunday, you preferred not to come on friday or saturday just because there were more possibilities you would bump into him. And you just weren't ready to see him. The race was insane so far. Actually, Oscar was doing more than okay. Your heart was pounding, you could hear it loud and clear. Your best friend held your hand all the time in that garage so you don't forget she’s there for you. And that you’re okay.  You knew you shouldn't be afraid of him because he was an angel. But you were scared of yourself and how would you handle that situation. You came to terms that actually, everything that happened between him and you, it was that your insecurities just made everything so toxic that he couldn't handle it all. It didn't feel good when you realised that but it is what it is. You didn't know better and forgiving yourself for that was the hardest part of the process. 

You squeezed your best friend's hand, it was the last lap. Your heart is almost out of your body. You are wearing an old Oscar hoodie. You really liked it, plus you came here looking like shit in your opinion. You didn't even brush your hair nor that you needed it like before, now your hair is super short. Everyone in the garage was watching closely and before you could actually process what you ‘ve just seen. Your friends shouted “omg” in unison not believing what they saw.

Destiny had its twisted ways to be honest. Osca won the race. he won. You were just shocked. 

You were here and he won, like, what are the chances of that to happen actually? First race you’re back and he wins. and in that way. Your friends hugged you. 

“Holy shit that 's really insane shit” Nikola said, watching the screens at the garage. 

“We need to go guys, i don't wanna see him, please” you didn't know why you started to panic like that. Sonny looked at Nikola and just got you out of there. 

At the Mercedes hospitality you felt safe while the celebrations were held. There was no reason or chance Oscar walked into the Mercedes building, right?  You were drinking some coffee with you girls trying to focus on the conversation about any other driver but Oscar, just around strategy and stuff. You were trying really hard but you couldn't stop thinking about the fact that maybe he could come into you any time. Now that you see destiny hates you. 

“y/N, you okay bestie?”Sonny tried to get you out of your drawing though by touching your arm so she could catch your attention back to reality. 

“Oh yeah, I was just thinking,” you said, adjusting yourself on the chair. Nikola looked worried. 

“y/n, we can go if you need to. We don't want you to feel uncomfortable, okay? Just tell us” she said, comprehensively describing the situation and her friend's feelings. You licked your dry lips.

Before you could answer her someone interrupted you. 

“y/, is it you?” that. Fucking. Voice. Your friends’ eyes widen as surprised as you were. You turned to the voice to find, in fact, your ex boyfriend watching you so confused. You were speechless for a moment. He looked so pretty and sweaty. His eyes are shining brighter than ever you have seen. 

“Oh, hi oscar. Yeah, it’s me” you tried to play it cool but to be fair, you felt the butterflies on your stomach just like the first time you met him at that  birthday party you didn't want to go to. But luckilyyou did. Destiny is always playing dirty for you. Or geniously. You didn't know anymore. He smiled widely.

“Oh, wow, hi, yeah. I didn't know you were coming” he said nervously. Your friends looked at each other noticing. 

“I was invited by George, actually. I almost didn't come tho. How crazy, you win right? You did an amazing race. "You were surprised that you could even have a proper conversation with him while your heart was hurting out of anxiety, nervousness and butterflies were everywhere. 

Oscar Felt his chest tighter. His stomach was happy to see you, he knew. “Thank you,” he said sweetly. You looked so pretty under the light of the Mercedes building. You were his hoodie, your favorite, but he didn't know if it was appropriate to mention it. Your hair was so short and looked so beautiful on you. It actually made you look prettier. Your face was the face of an angel, he always thought that. But with that haircut it only intensified your perfection. He felt stupid. Just like the first time he saw you at that party he wasn't even invited directly. Destiny always played on his favour with you, until that night. He didn't even want to remember it. You looked so different yet you felt the same. Your perfume was the same, he knew. It’s the one he gifted you on your 6 month anniversary. You used to celebrate each month. 

An awkward silence makes its presence between you two, not knowing what else to say or comment. 

“Congrats oscar on the win” sonny tried to save you from misery right there capturing oscar’s attention. He smiled gently, thanking her and nikola. He recognized them and gave them a hug. He seemed happy to see them. You smiled remembering your nights playing uno and drinking wine and baking canela rolls when winter break came around. You Missed him more than you’ve ever thought you would. And something inside you just felt exactly the same you always felt with him. He altered the chemistry in your brain so easily it was kind of scary. 

“Hey osc! Zac wants to talk to you! What are you doing here?” Lando Norris came into the building as well. He was your friend. when he saw who Oscar was, he grinned. “Hey, bestie, whatchu doing here?” he said happily, giving you a comforting hug. He was genuinely surprised because you didn't even tell you. He suspected Oscar was here because George told him you were here. He can't keep secrets. And he knew it was George because he was sure Lewis didn't even know you. 

“George invited us,” you explained after he stepped back.

“Okay let's go, great to see you girl. Hope to see you around more often "Oscar said while looking directly at you in the last sentence to then disappear dragging Lando out of the hospitality. Your friends looked at you and you looked at them.

“I need a whole vodka bottle down my throat right now” you sentence, making them laugh. But you didn't. You felt scared of what you felt a few moments ago. 

(...)

New year is here. You were invited along with your friends by lando to his beginning of the year party here in Monaco. And oh you knew Oscar was gonna be there. Of course, he is one of his closest friends also.

This time you felt more calm and collected around the fact you were going to see him again. I think being drunk was the thing you were thanked for. If something felt rare,you would drink straight vodka or tequila and the problem was solved. You didn’t even have to think about it. 

Your friend helped choose the sexiest dress for you. It was a satin white little dress with broderie endings. Pretty subtle but at the same time suggesting. Just how you were. Angel face, dirty minded. Problem was you couldn't date people because of the Oscars. Because since you saw him those seconds in Azerbaijan, you couldn't stop seeing his shiny eyes and beautiful smile every time you close your eyes. You didn't interact all of this time, you didn't even follow each other on social media. 

Mystery drove you I guess. And who could blame you? It was Oscar Piastri, the one you had to forget. But I just couldn't. You missed his touch, his breath, his voice, his lips. 

Your friend took you out of your thoughts telling you they needed to go to the bathroom. You Followed them around the party up to the toilets. They got in but you decided to wait outside because the music was just so good you wanted to enjoy it. You always wished you could write a party song but it isn't your thing at all. Nor you didn't have the personality for it. You were too deep of a person. You needed to cut deep. Be someone to suffer along with. Or at least that’s how you perceive yourself as an artist. 

“y/N?” not that voice again. That damn voice. Though this time you were waiting for it. You looked up to find a drunk Oscar in front of you. You were breathless for a moment. How can a man become so much hotter in just a year? You smiled at him feeling your strawberry lip gloss. 

“Hoy, osc. What’s up?” you said easily. The alcohol made it easier actually. When he smiled you almost died. You Adored his smile since that party you didn't even want to go to. You thought you fell in love with him just right there. Just right here…?

“I was looking for Danny, have you seen him?” he said normally, ignoring his heart, almost skipping a beat when he saw you in that short white dress. He hoped not to be drooling in your face. Since he saw you again, he couldn't get you out of his head. You were everyday hunting him. He wanted to text you but he wasn't sure if he should. You seem so happy now, he didn't want to ruin it. He convinced himself that probably the best for you was staying away from him as much as possible. At the end of the day, he was the reason you hurt, right? Or he wanted to believe that. 

For a moment you watched his lips talking to you. His drunk voice always turned you on. But you couldn't show it. Not anymore. You looked back at his eyes. Half smile on your face while shaking your head “no, i didn't. Iwas waiting for my friends that are in the bathroom” you explained and he nodded. 

“Well, I'll keep looking then. See you around” he told you to go back into the crowd to look for his friends. Hesaw the way you looked at his lips. He had to be the stronger one. It was better this way. As much as he wanted to eat you out right there and then.

He hurt you. He didn't understand you. He didn't deserve you. He made sure to protect you from himself. Even though all he wanted was to be with you.

「 ✦ the (your) truth is out ✦ 」

yourusername made a post

liked by sabrinacarpenter, user456, landonorris and 1,543,678 others

yourusername: i'm so excited to finally tell you our biggest secret! my new ep 'almost said i miss you' will be out february 14 <3 (trying to resignificate the date lol) these songs are really important to me and i can't wait till they finally become yours. thank u to the bestest bestie in the worl for guiding me and helping me through it all, it wouldn't have been possible without you. and you guys for the support, you don't know how much you mean to me :,) thank you for listening to my music since day one. i feel so lucky! see you in a few weeks :D

tagged: sabrinacarpenter, y/nhq

view more comments

sabrinacarpenter: so proud of you baby, my fav artist forever. just keep smiling! it's so beautiful to see you happy <3

nikolabff: we are so proud of you gorgeous! the prettiest songs I’ve ever heard 🥹

sonnybff: girl you always serve, thank you for sharing your art to the world I admire you like crazy. So proud of you baby, I love you <3

user489: 'trying to resignificate the date' WHY AM I SOBBING AT WORK

User99: THE TRACKLIST 😭😭😭😭😭

↳ user87: “I miss you, I’m sorry” I CHOKED

user45: it hurt

user12: so excited

landonorris: can`t wait for the world to cry their eyes out just like i did when i heard them :( (it still hurt and I cry before falling asleep)

↳ nikolabff: bro same 😭😭😭

↳ maxverstappen: babygirl

↳ landonorris: get outta here 😡

georgerussel: I know who will cry listening to this

↳ danielricciardo: @/oscarpiastri

↳ landonorris: @/oscarpiastri

↳ sonnybff: guys knock it the fuck off

hattiepiastri: so prod of you girl! Can’t wait to listen to it!

↳ user67: NOT HIS SISTER OMG

↳ user08: I don’t wanna be delusional but girl you

don’t help

↳ user134: they NEED to get back together I don’t

wanna suffer anymore I know Hattie

wants it too 😭

user1: I’m not alright knowing these are for oscar tbh IM DEAD and I haven’t even listened to them yet

taylorswift: and artist of the year goes to…

olivirodrigo: my day to day inspiration

user975: I love girls supporting girls

user56: @/f1gossipofficial is there something about this you’d like to share????

「 ✦ The aftermath - february 14 ✦ 」

Oscar was back to the UK training for the beginning of the new season. It was the coldest winter he experienced. He got back home from mclaren hq. He took a hot shower to warm himself. His apartment was silent. It felt empty for the first time. Like something was missing. He went straight into bed. He wasn't that hungry anyway, but he was tired indeed. 

“Hey, listen to it. I think you need to” 

He saw his sister Hattie's notification pop up on his screen confusing him abit. He went into the messages app and opened his sister’s. When he did he understood what she was talking about. A knot on this throat formed. It was y/n ep. Guess he now understood taylor swift’s exes. It’s hard to date a musician ust because of the aftermath of the relationship. 

“Just do it. You will understand why once you did” 

Another message popped up on this screen and sighed heavily. Probably his sister was right but at the same time he was scaredas fuck. He opened it on spotify, she looked as pretty as ever on the cover of it. ‘Almost said I miss you’ - that was the title and only had 3 songs. By the names of them he suspected it was about him but he tried to believe they weren't even though his sister already told him that they were. He decided to listen to it in order.

He took his headphones from his nightstand so he could hear your voice clearly. All over his head. Cutting deep into his fiber. 

The first piano tiles started playing and his heart was already sinking. Hearing her voice so raw and close and clear sent shivers down his spine. He heard every single word you said. It described perfectly that horrible and forgettable night you broke up. Hearing your voice crack broke his heart into a million pieces. It wasn't even half of the song when he started crying. He knew what he said under his breath that sent you both straight into hell. He felt so guilty about everything. He really just wished to talk to you. 

When he started to hear the second song he knew it was about that race you went. He hoped to see you in the next one, and the next one. But you didn't go again. The lyrics were so real his skin felt every word. 

When he heard you saying that you felt sorry his tears streamed down his face more violently. He didn't recognize this person. But you always had this effect on him. With you he was a feeler, one that felt way too deeply. Unlike the person he shows to people. You always knew the real him. He couldn't lie to you. Even though you thought he would cheat on  you. He would never. Hearing you wanting to hold him broke his heart. Why did you both have to do this the hard way? Why didn't you just be happy with each other? He really missed you. He missed everything about you. Your presence around him. He was his best version with you. Now he feels like a ghost of who he used to be. 

The last song just ended him. 

‘Do you remember being happy together? I do, don't you? Then all of the sudden, you’re sick to your stomach. Is that still true?’ he whipped his tears the best he could. 

You never called her or told her you missed her. But he guessed you would have liked it like that. 

‘everything i know brings me back to us. Everywhere I go leads me back to you’ he felt the same. 

He didn't know what to do. He had a battle inside him. He promised himself he would stay away from you so you could be happy just like you deserved. But at the same time he wanted to be happy and he knew you made him happy. He was happy with you. 

“So? Call her please oscar. You both deserve to be happy and figure things out along the way, together”

Hattie read his mind. Her text just in time when he is back into the silent apartment. The empty and cold apartment that once was full of laughter and music because you were with him. He missed you so much. He missed hearing you play guitar rumbling words then writing them down. You hugged when he was back home, you cuddled in bed when he was sad, your perspective on things. He missed every detail about you.

But was he ready to come back to you?

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

author's note: SO I DELETED IT BY MISTAKE AND I HAD TO REDO IT :(((((((( i've never been this sad but I hope you like it anyway. (This like a 2.0 version) it's the longest fic i've ever written and i love it sm :,) oscar piastri i deeply love you.

idk if I should do a part 2, should I?

also shout to to my international friends nikola and sonny, you girls at the best mwak mwak 💌

don't forget to like, reblog or comment! and follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together)

[sleep-nurse]

IM GONNA ATTEMPT MAKING YOU FEEL BETTER

Sorry this is bad I'm in an aggressively shaking car

ASDFGHJKLòàùHJKEDGEYT££T(£()()(U)(U)=(U=)£())%& AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[juniestar]

Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE

[23starii]

Pleasant Surprise - tendo x reader

Summary: He's used to girls trying to get through him to get to Ushiwaka. He knows no girl actually wants to be with him or get to know him. None of the gifts he receives are ever actually for him. Until you approach him one day after practice.

Warnings/notes: insecurity, speculation, rudeness, but, tbh not that much, short reader (shorter than Tendo). Chat I literally wrote all of day two and left to find a divider AND TURNS OUT EVERYTHING DELETED SO I HAD TO REWRITE THE WHOLE THING 😆😆😆😆😆

Day one

Practice was finally over.

Tendo loved it. It was another good day for him and the team.

What he didn't quite loves was-

"E-excuse me?" A tiny feminine voice to his left.

"Can I help you?" He answered, almost rudely. He knew what was to come, especially with the way you held the small, neatly wrapped gift box in between your hands.

"I'm really sorry to bother you, Tendo.." You began, shyly looking up at the taller male.

Tendo almost rolled his eyes. He wanted to just tell you to go away. He couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted to go home, but here you were, a cute girl saying his name with the sweetest voice trying to use him to get to his buddy.

It would be nice not to be looked over for once. Not only was it annoying to have to go through this nearly every day but painful, too. You were so cute and pretty. He recalled seeing you around and watching their practice several times.

"I made this for you. I was wondering if you'd accept it?" The girl brought her arms up higher, showing off the tiny box to the volleyball player.

"Listen-" Tendo almost answered in his usual way, telling girls to just go away because Ushiwaka didn't want their gifts anyway but then he realized what you said.

A gift for him? This was new. You wanted to earn his trust and get close to him just so he could introduce you to Ushiwaka. Didn't you?

Figures.

"U-um, you don't have to.. if you don't want to." You spoke up after Tendo was quiet for some time, thinking.

"Is it for me?" He wondered.

"Yes! It's for you! I made this just for you, Tendo."

Before he could say anything, you decided to keep speaking your mind, making sure he understood the extent of your purpose for being in front of him today.

"I've been coming to watch you practice for some time now.. you're amazing. You're so tall and a great blocker! I can tell you enjoy playing the game very much.. you always have a smile on your face when you play. And I enjoy watching you..very much as well."

Tendo was stunned, to say the least. You spoke without even looking at him. What you said didn't sound rehearsed or bogusly put together.

He wasn't sure what to say or do. He didn't know if he was convinced either.

"I took the time to learn that you really like chocolate too.. so that's why I made it for you. It took me a while to get the recipe right, but I did it just for you.. so I would really appreciate it if you could accept my hard work." You stared at the floor, face flushed and embarrassed, arms stretched out. You couldn't believe you poured nearly your whole heart out to him when he hadn't even said more than one word to you.

"Um.. okay. Thank you very much. I'll make sure to have these later." Tendo took the small box from your pretty hands. He had never been in a situation like this before - he hoped his answer wasn't too blunt or that he made you feel dumb for being here.

"Please! Let me know if you like them! Or if you dont.. I'd be very happy to make more for you!" You bowed quickly before speeding off in the opposite direction, cheeks burning.

You really hopped you hadn't said too much.

Tendo watched you walk away, cocking his head slightly to the his right, puzzled.

Could it be that you really did make it for him because you wanted to give it to him?

Could it be true that you really had been watching him and not Ushiwaka?

"Damn. That girl was really nervous." He hears Semi from his left speak.

"Aw man! You're so lucky, Tendo! She was cute.." Goshiki gushes from his right.

"Yeah, she was.."

Day two

The next day, Tendo walked the halls with the knowledge that somewhere in the same building, there was a girl who made the best chocolates he's ever had.

He hardly thought of anything else since he popped one of the treats into his mouth the night prior. He couldn't believe something so delicious could be made. And just for him nonetheless.

He hoped your words were truthful. He hoped he would see you again that afternoon so he could thank you.

Tendo made his way toward the gym, where he would be partaking in the usual practice routine.

When he arrived and was fully changed into his gym clothes, he made sure to warm up with his teammates.

He stretched and received a few balls, making sure to keep an eye out for you.

The redhead made sure to glance over at the students' section every so often.

Tendo was quite disillusioned to find you nowhere to be seen.

An hour into practice, he figured you just weren't coming. He had been tricked, hadn't he.

Oh well.

There's no way a girl like you would seriously be into him.

He decided to go on as if nothing had happened, as per usual. He continued giving it his all during practice as was expected from him.

.

.

.

Tendo exited the changing room, having his regular school uniform on now. He could hear his younger teammates messing about in the room behind him while he bent down low, grabbing his shows and placing them in front of himself.

"Tendo." He hears the firm, stoic voice of his best buddy call out.

"Hey! Wakaaa!" The lankier boy teased with the nickname, looking off in Ushijima's direction whilst putting his left shoe on.

"There was a girl looking for you." The barely taller male spoke.

"A girl?" Tendo repeated, moving on to his right shoe.

"I thought she was gonna ask me for my autograph. Instead, she asked me about you." Ushiwaka informed, with his usual straight face.

Tendo straightened up his body, finishing up with his shoes he turned his full attention to his friend.

"Where is she?" The redhead asked, picturing your shaky figure holding out the gift he enjoyed so much.

Ushiwaka shrugged.

"She was outside the gym, last time I saw her."

Tendo thanked his friend and quickly made his way back to the gym, hoping he hadn't missed you.

He was relieved to find you curiously standing about right outside the gym.

"Excuse me?" He spoke, stepping to you.

You quickly turn around to meet the boy, your hair whipping the air from the speed.

"Tendo!" You spoke, surprised.

"I'm shocked, I didn't think I'd see you again or have the chance to thank you for those chocolates." Tendo teased, reffering to your absence earlier.

He watched your face twist into guilt.

"I am only able to see you when my club activities end early. I'm so sorry! Did you like the gift then..?" You ramble, apologetically, your cheeks flushing.

Tendo suddenly found it increasingly difficult to hide how flattered he is by your presence.

You took the time to come see him after your own club activities and even asked Ushiwaka about him. And the way you messed with your uniform nervously as you spoke was adorable in his eyes.

"Like it? I loved it!! I've never had anything so good before." His face warmed up.

"Really?? It was a family recipe.. I barely learned it, so I'm glad you enjoyed them!" You gave another sweet smile, almost as sweet as the treats the boy had last night.

"You'll have to teach me that recipe some time, cause seriously, I've never had anything like that before!" He gushed, hoping he didn't sound too enthusiastic.

You blush at his compliments.

"So.. do you enjoy making sweets too, Tendo?" You wonder, hoping the two of you might find something in common, it would be beneficial to keep the conversation going which you hoped would happen.

"Actually, I've never baked or anything like that. But, if it's possible to make something that good, I'd like to learn it."

You were happy that he took such interest in you. You honestly hadn't expected it. You were just some girl after all. It warmed your heart and the tips of your ears.

"By the way, you were looking for me? Ushiwaka told me."

Again, your cheeks flushed and you stiffened up.

"Well, I wanted to see you! I am a fan of yours, you know!" You laughed awkwardly admitting you truly did just want to see him.

Tendo's cheeks warmed further equal to yours now.

You wanted to see him? His fan? A pretty girl?

Could words be ever more flattering? Could you make him any more embarrassed? He seriously couldn't believe it.

You really called yourself his fan.

"Oh, wow. I didn't know I had such a beautiful fan." He sputtered, relieved that he hadn't stuttered. He almost missed your expression after those words.

Your face dropped, and he could see the visible pink hue that coated your pretty cheeks.

"I-Well, you know, I mean.. you're awesome and like also super! And beautiful.. too.." Your eyes widened from your own words. How could one stumble over themselves so damn much?

You internally beat the shit out of yourself. There's no way you didn't totally just blow it.

You almost missed how his eyes widened, too, and he blushed. Tendo looked as if you could eat him right up right then and there.

"Jeez.. you really came here just to flatter me." Tendo couldn't ignore the fact that no one had ever called him beautiful before. You were the first. And damn, it was a really nice feeling.

He couldn't believe it. This had to be a dream.

You couldn't really reply after how badly you stuttered you were surely traumatized from the embarrassment.

"So, how about that recipe?"

The boy eased your nerves by not turning away or insinuating that he disliked you. He wouldn't anyway. No way in a million years would he walk away.

You smiled, taking a deep breath to calm yourself before continuing the conversation.

You gave him a social media account of your choosing so he could contact you.

Tendo asked about your club, and the two of you spoke of your many interests. He even walked with you to your bus stop.

You found that the two of you didn't have much in common, but his interest in your hobby of baking and making sweets just might change that.

It might even create a duo of married chocolatiers.

✧˖*°࿐

[emmyrosee]

suna and 11? CONGRATS EMMY!!!!

THANK YOU ANGEL FACE 🥹🩷

anonymous said 11. Suna and maybe u can tie it with ur recent post and possibly make them break up??? ❤️

11 with Suna… Argument 💔

There’s a deep rooted insecurity suna rintaro holds.

It’s not one he talks about often, nor do you bring it up, because it’s dumb, it’s a stupid little thing that you both know doesn’t make a difference in your relationship, yet Rintaro always finds himself harping and beating himself up over it.

Right now is no exception, as you stand across from him with your hands scrubbing your face, clearly exhausted by the fight.

“I don’t think of Osamu like that!”

“You sure had a hell of a time showing it!”

You had a crush on Osamu first.

Way back when rintaro wasn’t even into you, he couldn’t have known you from some random soul, you had feelings for osamu, but you never acted on them because you assumed he never liked you back- not to mention his insane fan girls. You kept your distance until you moved on; only to meet Rintaro in college, recognizing each other about three weeks in, where your feelings for him started to bloom.

You’d let it slip to him once when recounting high school memories how you fell hard for the dark haired twin, and while yes, it made rintaro tense up, you assured him it was over. You were done with him.

Yet every time you hang out with the group, Rintaro feels that same jealousy creep up his spine.

“God, when will it click for you that I love you!” You cry, desperate for him to hear you. “You! Only you! For five years Rintaro, it’s only ever been you!”

“Don’t act like you still don’t-“

“I DONT!” You bark. “I don’t! Whatever you’re about to say, I. Don’t. Because I do, with you!”

He feels sick to his stomach at this point, your sharp words to him only translating as a defense against his words, desperate to keep something hidden.

Not as a genuine frustration.

“I think you should go be with Osamu,” he snarls. “Since your so comfortable getting him drinks and putting your hands on him-“

“I wasn’t making out with the kid, I was patting his back after a joke!”

“-and maybe you should be with him since he’s just soo funny-“

“MAYBE I WILL!” You shriek.

The plates in the kitchen settle and the doors creak softly at the force of your yells, and your eyes glimmer with remorse but your face harbors exhaustion.

“…what?” He croaks.

“Maybe I should go be with literally anyone else,” you choke. “Since you think I’m flirting with anyone and everyone in the goddamned circle-“

“Wait- no, I just-“

“I don’t care what you do,” you whimper. “I’m sick of your jealousy. I’m sick of your hatred of my friendship with some kid who couldn’t give a fuck about me- you literally picked up the pieces of me he shattered, yet you still think there’s a chance I could love him?” You scoff, “you’re ridiculous.”

He sobers up as you throw your arms out in defeat, “I’m so… tired, of the accusations, Rintaro. I’ve given you five years of unconditional love and gratitude. And all you can boil me down to is someone who had a crush in high school?”

“I’m just so worried to lose you,” he says, voice breaking.

“Yeah? Well, you’ve lost me.” You take a step back and gnaw on your lip, “I’m going to go. Think long and thorough about this. But just know, I’ll always love you. Even if you’ve never trusted me.”

“No, no, no, please, don’t leave-“

“I’ll talk to you later…. Okay?”

He’s never going to hear from you again. This, he knows.

The door closes, and he wipes his tearful eyes with the back of his head, slipping out his phone to look at your happy smiling face again, one he took off the face of the earth with his jealousy.

There’s a black screen that faces back to him. It won’t turn on. He groans and hucks the thing across the room, hearing it clang somewhere far enough away.

He’ll deal with it in the morning. For now, he’s got some wallowing to plan out.

[thebestandrealestever]

~NOT YOU TOO!~

miles1610/hobie brown x black fem! reader

sum: miles cheats on reader w gwen, reader gets even 🤷🏽‍♀️

warnings : slang, the n word, cursing, cheating . emotional cheating. READER BEING PETTY unedited and not proofread

genre: angst, a lil of comfort?

a/n:i rly hope it don’t disappoint, part 2 w miles and reader make up eventually, cause i can’t stand writing miles as a dickhead. JUST A STORY, I DONT CONDONE CHEATING, DONT THIS TO PEOPLE.

- - - - - - - - - <\3 - - - - - - - - - -

first time in a long time.

hurting deeply inside .

there it was. the confirmation you so desperately needed to blow off on miles. you’d suspected he was messing with gwen for a little while now, him leaving you too go on missions with her that ONLY they knew about, being on facetime with her while he was at YOUR house, his highlight on instagram for her, not to mention the countless drawings of her around his room that he hid horribly, just a bunch of weird shit. you had conversations about it before but he always reassured you and gaslit you until you shook of the accusations. but now, now you knew he was cheating. miles was in the shower he left his phone on the nightstand, you looked long and hard at it. debating whether if it was a invasion of privacy, as you thought about it you get more and more upset. if gwen could be an invasion of your relationship then this didn’t really matter. you pick up the phone and put the password it, it’s his birthday (narcissist 🙄.) you go to gwen’s message thread, the blue heart next to it made you infuriated. your stomach twist and your eyes leak with tears that you don’t even try to wipe not wanting to miss anything. all of the “i love you’s” and the “im with her right now’s” made your fingers tremble as you scrolled farther into their text. why did he waste his time with you if he loved her? why would he do that to you? when did he fall out of love? what did you do? your thoughts quickly interrupted by the sound of the shower turning off you jumped up turned the phone off and put it in the same downward facing position wiping your face speed walking back to the bed pretending to watch tv.

“what’s going on now , ma?“ he asked referring to the episode you were watching. your face turned as you came up with a lie. “uh nothing really they just found out she was pregnant” you huffed, you’ve never been a good liar and miles could read your emotions like they were his own, you had no idea how you were going to go the rest of the night with him, so you didn’t. getting up from the bed you acted like your mom texted you to come home, frowning looking at the fake text. miles squinted at your pout, walking closer to you he said,

“you okay?” “my mom said i had to come home, she’s going out tonight and wants me to watch my sister, she’s sick” miles fake frowned “you want me to come with you?” he suggested walking to his drawers to get some clothes. you shook your head no “i don’t want you to get sick, it’s fine i’ll just facetime you okay?” you said as you picked up your purse and put on your shoes. “okay at least lemme drive you home. can’t have my baby walking alone in the dark.” he joked as he put on his own shoes and jacket too. you internally cringed at his sentence reminded of who he also called his “baby”.

trust, trust who?

watching my back even when i’m in the booth.

ohh, trust who?

you’re in the passenger seat of his car, seeing the blue hair tie in the cup holder that wasn’t yours. you stared at it for a bit rethinking your entire relationship. he glanced at you, then the hair tye. he spoke up rubbing your thigh trying to get your mind off of it. “u wanna go to the mall tomorrow? we can get froyo.” he suggested knowing that you liked the froyo place in the mall, you knew he was trying to make you happy so you wouldn’t question the hair tye you just went along with it.

“yea okay.” you smiled warmly at miles not meaning it at all. his phone buzzed and you both looked down at it, the speed of which he grabbed it in was almost inhumane. you side eyed him closely as he swiped the opened the message then turned his phone off placing it into the cup holder facing away from you. as you pulled up to your house he leaned forward to peck your cheek, you couldn’t stand the feeling of his lips on your skin right you. “bye mami, facetime me later okay?” he whispered as he looked into your eyes with that same look on his face that made you swoon once before. “okay, i will” you said knowing you weren’t. as soon as you got into your room you cried, searching in your mind for a clue on why he was doing this to you. you’d tears interrupted once again as your phone buzzed, who was calling you and why couldn’t they go away ?? you checked it as a small smile speared on your face it was margo. margo kess had been your best friend since before you met miles, she worked at the same spidey agency he did , or whatever the fuck it was called. you answered wiping your tears. she was eating unti she saw your expression. “what happened??? why you crying boo?” she frowned at you through the screen “miles is cheating on me with gwen, i checked his phone” you chuckled through sniffles as her jaw dropped “what the fuck?? u exposed him his ass right ??” she shouted and you shook your head “i was in denial i guess, i still can’t believe this shit” “you know what you gotta do right?” she said and your face turned into a confused expression “what i gotta do?” she rolled her eyes “get even duhhhhh!! you way to pretty to let this nigga cheat on you with a big back ass bitch you know that.” you snorted at her compliment “ion know mar, maybe gwen didn’t know we was dating” you said trying to express grace to gwen.

“bitch how?? all that nigga do is talk about you, not to mention youre his lock screen.” you tilted your head in agreement, she spoke up again “and you been told his ass all that shit he did with gwen was weird and he didn’t stop it? if he wanna act nonchalant you can act notchabitch” margo smiled as she her attempt to cheer you up worked. “speak of the damn devil, guess who texted me.” you smirked as margo raised her eyebrow “don’t tell me you talm bout hobie.” you tried to fight the smile on your face as you clicked on his message

“hey, wyd rn?” the text read. margo sighed as she saw the smile on your face “HOBIE. HOBART BROWN?? really (name)? well i mean the way he looks at you is crazy, and i been saying y’all would be mad cute .” she shrugged as she resolved up her own feelings, you nodded as you thought about it . was this really what you wanted to do? hurt miles? nonono if he didn’t care about hurting you he can’t say shit when you do it back. you texted hobie back “nun rn, wby?” and he replied almost instantly “im bored, lemme come over?” you almost laughed at how you realized that hobie has never cared about your relationship with miles . you told him yes and you said your goodbyes to margo as you got ready for him to come over, eyes burning as you saw the multiple hoodies that miles owned .

“hey love.” hobie said as he walked into your room from the window, you always noticed hoboes accent but you never noticed how attractive it was until now. “hey hobie.” you said as he lifted your chin up with index and thumb. “you’ve been crying? what happened ?” he said trying to read your face. “um nothing just stuff with miles” he almost winced at the mention of miles, he would offen tell you that he wasn’t good for you, guess he was right. “what did he do now. something when gwen again i bet” you sighed deeply remember the messages in his phone again. “yea, he’s cheating i just found out.” hobie eyebrows furrow as you say this, if he didn’t like the way miles was treating you before, he definitely hated him now.

“i was just joking but, really? what the fuck? after everything you’ve done for him? i’m gonna murder him i swear to g-“ “hobie no, no don’t say anything. i’m fine i’m gonna deal with it myself.” you say pushing him back with your fingers. “at least let me make you feel better.” he said giving you a tight hug. he smirked as he said “you know i’d never make you feel like that.” you snorted into his chest pulling away, hobie grabbed your face with both hands and kissed your forehead. “you don’t deserve this ,(name) you deserve the entire world” he muttered , looking down at you with so much care. stand on your tipe toes to kiss hobie, he doesn’t kiss back for a while in shock but then he reciprocates it and you know you shouldn’t do this, that’s the exact reason why you did it anyway . you pull away looking up into his deep brown eyes, you needed this, comfort from someone that wasn’t hurting you. someone that wasn’t him. he kissed you again more aggressively this time. he pulls away this time only to catch his breath. he pecks your lips once , then twice. he smiles at you then walks to the bed and turns on the tv, you thought it was weird but you also didn’t want to talk about it, and definitely didn’t wanna do anything further. after watching tv with him at a uncomfortable distance you decide to address the elephant in the room.

“so, we not gon talk about that?” you turn off the tv before turning your head to look at him and he does the same “we don’t have to, you know i like you. but i don’t think you need that tonight, i think you just need me here.” he said and honestly, he was right. even though he had you all the way fucked up onna tuesday, you still loved him. you just nod at hobie and he kisses your cheek wrapping his arms around you so he’s spooning you, the way hobie is holding makes you think that he’s the only boy in the world. he falls asleep and you lie awake looking at the ceiling, you decide to go on instagram looking at people’s story until you see gwen’s story, it was a picture of her and miles in his car her feet up on the dashboard, the same car you were just in, the same car you had your first kiss in. that’s not even the half of it, the picture had a “besties” caption on it but you could tell from 20 miles away they were far from that. you take a picture of hobie asleep and post it, tagging him too copying the same caption as gwen had. after maybe 20 minutes miles replies to it “wtf? why are you letting hobie touch you like that? and i thought u had to watch your sister” “and i thought you and gwen were besties?” you reply back sending him the screenshots you send to your phone if gwen and miles text he starts blowing u up like crazy but you put your phone down and snuggle closer into hobie, maybe you could get even.

doing my own thing,

i’m down to come clean,

not like you.

lmk wat u think 😭.

[itsfairly]

Saying Out Loud // Nanami Kento x gn!reader

word count: 1.5k

cw: none.

notes: HAPPY PRIDE YALL! i normally post once a month, but lets pretend last post was the make-up for may and this one is june's. either way, fits the month, right?

liked this? show it with a like, reblog, and/or comment. each is greatly appreciated and celebrated!

"I'm bisexual," you said with a small crack towards the end of your words.

your eyes were constantly shifting between his, searching for any reaction or response from Kento as your fingers fidgeted with each other in an effort to calm your nerves.

it was so uncomfortable, so tense, so terrifying. you know this stuff is told at the beginning of a relationship, not months into it, but things with Kento were going so well. you've never felt so calm around someone, so loved in the most simple yet concrete ways, that a relationship could be so easy and rewarding as this one with him. you wanted to hold on to this stage, this moment where things flowed perfectly and the world seemed to say yes, these two are meant for each other. that's why you took so long to tell him.

after all, how many people treated you differently after they learned this about you?

sorry, its just that i dont want to date someone who will make me look over my shoulder to see if they are being faithful.

what? so you're just gonna leave me when you want to date a man or something?

does that mean we can have a threesome?

its was as if there mere mention of your bisexuality was a burden to them or some sort of fetish. it was exhausting and no matter how much you tried to be fine with it, you weren't.

it wasnt like you didnt trust Kento, he had been nothing but respectful to you and such a gentleman. but god, did those relationships screw up your confidence in this area...you thought you could keep this to yourself, but then again, he deserved to know before things went any further, to walk out if this wasn't what he hoped. you would get it even if it was unfair.

with every second his eyes looked into yours, taking in your words with that stoic expression of his that you could barely read at the moment, the fear was growing in your chest. It kept expanding until it reached your lungs and had to take deep breaths to appear calm about this when you were scared shitless. what would he say? why was he taking so long? he wants to break up, doesn't he? of course, he-

"what made you want to tell me now?" Kento asked, his voice calm as ever as if he was asking where you wanted to have lunch, making you wonder if he was even understanding the severity of your words.

"we've been dating for months now, exclusively even, and you deserved to know before things got serious," you said, feeling your heart race with every word you said. hell, you wondered how you managed to speak so clearly with these many thoughts in your head.

"but are you telling me because you want to or because you felt like you have to?" Kento asked, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, his eyes showing this concern.

that made you blink a few times. this wasn't the kind of reaction you usually received. you were bracing yourself to hear any apprehension, maybe for him to reject or twist your words, but not to see him worried for you like this.

"i told you, we have been dating for a few months and it would be fair if i kept this from you-"

"but its not fair to force yourself either." Kento interrupted you, his words having this firm yet soft tone to them.

his hands reached out to one of yours, covering it completely in his hold. a steady hold opposite to the fidgeting of your fingers, but in his hands, your hand had no choice but to relax.

"you look so stiff you might break, try and take a breath," he adds, his head tilting to the side as his expression softened.

you do just that, mirroring Kento as he also took a deep breath to encourage you to do the same, and while it did help with the nerves, it didn't relieve your confusion. he wasn't saying much on your coming out, he hadn't say a single word about it yet.

"i wanted—want to tell you because i don't want you to find out later on after investing so much in me and just...you don't need to waste your time if someone like me isn't what you were looking for," you explained.

of course you wanted to tell him, but it didn't took away how scary coming out is, especially when the person you're coming out to is so special and you want them in your life regardless. you didn't want to lose him, but you also didn't want to deceive him like this. maybe you did had to push yourself to say it, not wanting to ruin things so quickly, but you couldn't wait any longer.

Kento sighs, making your heart stop for a second. Was he disappointed? Infuriated? Angry?

But when you heard his words as he squeezed your hand, you were surprised to learn how far off you were...

"i must be awful at making it clear that you're exactly who I'm looking for."

suddenly, its as if your heart gains this new energy, beating and beating as if you just ran a marathon. your mouth feels dry as youfeel your brows knitting together, feeling as if this conversation was bringing more surprises to you than to him.

"you don't care that i'm bi?" you asked quietly, your hand squeezing his back in hopes you didn't hear him wrong.

Kento shakes his head, "i do, but not in the way you think," he says, a shadow of a smile coming to the corner of his lip as he scoots closer to you. His eyes look at yours, silently asking if that was okay. You nod.

"i care, not because it annoys me—i would be an asshole if that were the case—, but because i'm learning about you. The you that you feel most authentic to. While i am happy that you are opening up to me about something so important to you, i wished you would feel more comfortable telling me about it because you were ready, not because you felt pressured to. i'm sorry if i made you feel that."

you didnt know what it was at this point, whether it was the adrenaline or sweetness of the moment, but you knew Kento was the reason with all these words he was saying. he wasn't anything like anyone you'd dated before, he was being so sweet and just a dream. you never thought your chest could swell with this feeling while coming out to someone. it felt...easy.

you quickly shake your head, your turn to scoot over to him with your knees bumping against his. "no, no! you didn't pressure me in any way, Kento. its just that i know how much of a dealbreaker this is to some and i..." you took in a deep breath, feeling your throat hitch with this lump, "god, you have no idea how relieving it is to hear that."

you didn't wait a second longer before you wrapped you arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug as you rested your forehead in his shoulder. you felt his arms wrapped around you in return, pulling you closer to his body as his hand caressed your back in soothing circles that made your heart calm down.

"someone like you is special," Kento says softly, his breath tickling your ear, "you're choosing me over anyone else, and i feel so honored that you are with me."

you laughed softly, pulling your head back from his shoulder and looking at him with a huge grin. god, he made this so, so easy.

"kento, you have no idea what this means to me. No idea how easy it is to feel lucky right now." You said quietly, taking a deep breath before resting your forehead against his, "thank you, just thank you."

Kento hums, his hand coming up to your scalp to stroke your hair gently. hearing all your words and seeing all the emotions you wore on your sleeve made him realize how big of a step this was for you, how heavy of a topic this was on you. it didn't take a genius to know that this reaction from you meant that this situation didn't went as well in the past with other people, which made his heart hurt for you. Sweet you who thought about him first before herself when this wasn't about him.

more than ever, Kento would make sure that you felt comfortable in your skin and secure in your relationship. you deserved nothing less than that and you were worth investing in as you said in your own words, though he would much rather call it loving you. it sounded more accurate to what he wanted to do.

"you know, now i have to put more effort into our relationship," Kento said softly, a hint of playfulness in his voice, "after all, I'm showing you off to double the people, aren't i?"

[moneymartin]

・❥・- one more?

summary: kate comes home tired and needy :( part two to this fic. build up drabble to part three

warnings: none! fluff cause its kate :3 this is kinda shorter than the last one soz. again, every divider is a skip. most are constant cuz im lazy. didn’t know how to end oops!!!

rpf dont read it if ur uncomfy thx

a/n: all yjs reqs r still itw soooo they’ll be out soon poopies 🙄 also my single part drabble for kate is lowk marinating in my drafts and i don’t have the motivation to finish it…

its been 5 months since you and kate finally ended up together. pretty long, right? but you two never really got the hang of this thing, especially after remembering how long those feelings between you two had been brewing up for. it was still hard for you to show up to her games and practice due to soccer season, and the second it ended, you showed up to nearly every single one of them.

“i really can’t come this time, baby, i told you!” you grumble while kate drags you across the dorm. they had their practice game at carver today but you couldn’t make it, which made kate upset. “dilanni is gonna kill me if i don’t show up.” your soccer team needed to show up together for this fundraiser, and it was during the offseason. fucking lame. you hated letting her down all the time but some things like this just needed to be done.

kate’s fingers grip at your sweater sleeve, her eyes soft, and lips slightly pouting. “can you please just say you feel sick!? you’ll finish quicker than i will and it’s not like they won’t let you in.” she begs and tugs a little at it. her height makes you a little overwhelmed but she’s slightly bent at the knees and trying to make herself seem smaller than she really is. “kate, its just practice. its not like its the final fours yet.” you sigh and make her stand up straight. your eyes dart to hers and you bring your hands up to cup her face. the way she leans into your touch makes your face flush up like never before.

“yeah, but you always show out! i know we’re still trying to keep this on the down low still but i love pointing at you in the crowd before i make a shot during our practices.” she complains, trying to pull her head away from your hands but you keep her in place like a vice. your thumb brushes up against her face and she sighs under her breath. all those shots that she makes have all been for you ever since. and you didn’t even know that. everything she did on the court was meant for you. “i’ll make a deal with you, okay?” your words make her feel a little bit better and she nods ecstatically.

“when you get back we can do whateverrrr you want to make you feel better about me not showing up. does that sound good?” you propose, the idea crossing your mind after you realize that she just wants to spend that time with you while her teammates try to piece together this big puzzle. none of them know other than caitlin, and they’re completely unaware of you and kate’s relationship. “yes! okay, deal! deal deal deal…!” she blurts out and smiles stupidly, leaning her head towards you again as a sign that she wants a kiss.

you give it and let go of her face, wrapping your arms around her waist quickly and pressing another big kiss to her cheek. “don’t work yourself too hard out there.” you breathe out and pat her back before letting go of it. “this fundraiser should only be an hour, trust me.” kate just shrugs and smiles again, less big but you still know that she’s pretty happy at your little proposition for when she gets back. the moment you walk out of that door, her face drops and she rubs awkwardly at the back of her neck. she’s alone now, and doesn’t know what to do. you’ve been with her for every game and every practice so she’s lost most of her motivation to go. “aw, dang it..”

after your little fundraiser, you come home exhausted and dreary when you realize kate is gone too. you two are exactly the same person, lost without one another. it’s cute but sometimes it’s hard. this whole relationship thing is such a different concept and it makes your head hurt. the lock clicks on the door and you dig through your closet, finding a pair of pjs and some small shirt kate likes seeing you wear for ‘some reason’. which is what she says every time you ask.

a quick change and your casual clothes scatter across the floor before you basically face plant into the pillows. a warm feeling fills up your body while you fall asleep, a feeling that seems different still without kate. you two always sleep and take naps together so this is another thing you have to get yourself used to.

the stupid fundraiser ran longer than it should have. at least another 30-45 minutes extra and you weren’t very prepared for it. kids were all over the place too and you were somewhat on babysitting duty? according to your teammates. you stood with all the kids for at least an hour and the questions they asked you were probably the stupidest things ever.

the sound of the door opening is what wakes you up, fingers instinctively rubbing your eyes and sitting up. you’re met with the sight of kate rummaging sluggishly through her backpack and taking out clothes. she mumbles out a small ‘hi’ and yawns, walking into the bathroom. the sound of the shower hits your ears and you just lay back down, trying to keep yourself awake to fulfill that proposal you made earlier.

a few moments after the shower turns off, the bathroom door opens and your mattress shifts in weight, a few drops of water coaxing you to open up your eyes. kate is sitting on the edge of the bed and she tucks herself in, burying her face into your neck. “how was practice?” you mutter, moving her wet strands of hair to sprawl out on the bed. she grumbles into your neck instead of instantly responding. “tiring, huh?” you ask.

“extremely.” she whispers breathily and looks up at you. kate’s eyes are slightly droopy and her lips are pursed. your arm wraps itself around her back and you tilt her head up with your hand, making her look up at you as you start rubbing her temples gently. kate’s eyes are opening and closing continuously while your fingers continue to massage her head and she huffs heavily a few times.

you push kate’s head into your neck again and slide your hands onto her shoulders, patting them gently to make her fall asleep easier. she doesn’t though. instead, she hoists her head up and quickly locks her lips with yours, grabbing your waist and holding herself up with her arms. her fingers are gripping at the bedsheets tight and she’s kissing you a little bit too hard. not that you mind, of course. “mmmf.. hey?” you pant and pull away from the kiss, making eye contact with kate and realizing where she’s placed her hands.

“i’m just kissing you.” kate mumbles and doesn’t even bother waiting for you to finish catching your breath. she kisses you again, propping herself up on her elbows and grabbing your arms to wrap around her waist. “y- yeah! but like… let me get a breather at least.” you laugh quietly. you’re still trying to catch your breath and the more you try to get away, the more persistent she becomes. “c’mon. you’re just sleepy, baby. get your butt to bed and you’ll be alllll good in the morning.” you smile and push her shoulders down.

kate ends up falling onto your body and her nose brushes up against your cheek, her lips running up and down your neck as she starts kissing all over it. “one more..” she rasps out and slides her hands underneath your shirt. she starts to claw your back a few times, whining into your neck when you try to push her away. “kate, please.” you grunt and pull back, nearly falling off of the edge of the bed.

her face is the same one as earlier. her big, pretty blue eyes going soft and her lips pouting. she looks like a sad puppy and you hate it. you hate how you can’t say no to it. “just one more! this is the last one and i’ll sleep, i swear.” kate spits out and tilts her head to the side. she yawns, her eyes getting watery and now you know that it’s basically over for you. “i can’t.” you mutter. “yes, you can. it’s just one more kiss, babe. please?!”

“all you have to do is give me one, and i’ll sleep!”

“you say this all the time! you’re gonna say that you’ll ‘sleep after’ but the second my lips land on yours, you’re gonna act like an animal.”

“that’s not true.”

“oh, yeah? watch.”

you cup her cheeks and she grabs your waist gently, your lips going in for one quick one. when she feels how warm you are and how much you’re trying to really prove a point, she just helps your claim anyways. kate’s lips are against yours again, kissing hungrily.

i mean, she’s practically eating away at your face.

[morlao]

Traitor

▪︎Luke Castellan x fem!reader

▪︎daughter of Ares

(the story takes place during the last PJ book -> you, Annabeth, Percy and Grover have just entered Olympus and are about to meet Luke/Kronos)

Warnings:

• mentions of blood

• no happy ending

☆ ☆ ☆

You freeze as you spot him.

Those striking eyes, once loving and gentle, now cold and distant. The single strands of hair, that fall into his face. God, you loved playing with his hair while lying in his lap. Or running your hands through his hair while kissing him.

“Luke” It has been a while since you last said his name. You try to avoid it as good as possible, as it leaves a bitter taste on your tongue since the day he turned out to be a traitor. Damn, that day was still as present as ever…

Percy lying in bed in the infirmary and telling you all about Luke´s betrayal… you standing next to his bed, not believing a single word he said… not until you noticed that Luke had disappeared.

In that moment your heart broke so violently, that you still wonder how it was possible that nobody heard it. Your perfect world broke apart within seconds.

Luke was your first everything. The first person you met at camp. The first person you trusted. The first (and only) person who you have ever been in love with. Your first kiss. Your first boyfriend. Your first time. And the first person who broke your heart.

Of course the whole camp was also very suspicious of you. You were Luke´s girlfriend – everyone knew that. The two of you were as close as one could be, so if he was a traitor, you had to be one as well, right?  They branded you the spy and avoided talking to you for months. How was that fair?

If it hadn´t been for Percy, Annabeth and Silena – who constantly comforted you, kept acting normal around you and scolded other campers who terrorized you – you would have run away a long time ago. Camp Half-Blood no longer felt like home.

Luke, your boyfriend. Luke, the traitor. It was damn hard to believe that they were the same person.

Of course you also blamed yourself. You were his girlfriend, you should have paid more attention! You knew that something was going on with him. 

You felt that he acted slightly different, even though he tried not to show it to you. He has never spoken about the gods with respect or fascination, but it was the first time that he sounded this bitter.

“They don´t care about us, Y/N” he told you while you were sitting at the shores of the lake.

“Who?” you asked, your feet dangling just inches above the cool water.

“The gods… they are cruel and selfish…they always let teens fight their battles”

In that moment you thought that he referred to the scar he got on his quest. In retrospect, he probably meant much more. Did he think of betraying the camp back then?

From that day on, you lost him more each and every day. He still spent most of his time with you, he still kissed you and made you laugh but then he also seemed so distracted, so distant.

"Dont worry, princess. I just had a bad dream", he told you every time you noted that he looked stressed.

You took his hand, softly stroking his palm with your fingers. "You know you can talk to me about it"

He just smiled, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your neck. "I know, my love"

Before, he has never avoided these topics. You remember feeling like you couldn't get to him anymore. And then – suddenly he was gone. Disappeared without a word.

The first time you saw him again was roughly three months later. He was lying in wait for you when you were just leaving the camp to visit your mother. He jumped out of the shadows and grabbed your arm, nearly giving you a heart attack.

At first you were afraid. Afraid of the boy you had loved with all your heart – and probably still did.

But he didn´t come to hurt you, instead he tried to convince you to run away with him, to join Kronos with him. He tried more than once – to be honest you lost count of how many times he tried – but every time you rejected him.

The gods aren´t perfect, but fighting against them is not the right way to go. Doing so would cause the exact opposite of what he actually wants to achieve.

You could clearly remember the last time he spoke to you, maybe five or six months ago.

“Y/N, please! I love you! Take my hand, come with me! You know that I fight for the right thing!”

Now you stand in front of him again. Well… you´re not sure if that even was Luke anymore. How much control does Kronos have over him?

Slowly he turns towards you. “Y/N” Luke´s voice is shaking. He seems to be fighting an internal battle, which Kronos wins.

As Percy and Annabeth start talking to him and trying to talk sense into him, you just stand there, petrified, not knowing what to say. Were there even words to say in such a situation? If yes, then Kronos doesn´t give you the time to speak them.

He attacks and the three of you give your best to keep him at bay. In the meantime Grover plays the flute, trying his best to support you.

You clutch your sword. For the first time in your life you truly hate fighting. You are as brilliant and intimidating as usual – of course you are – but still you hate fighting against the boy who once owned your heart. With every blow and every stab you are afraid of hurting him.

Maybe you are too soft to be the daughter of Ares. Would he understand or would he be disappointed?

During the fight Annabeth constantly tries to talk to Luke/Kronos. About Thalia, about their time before camp. Sometimes one might think that a small glimpse of Luke shines through.

A firm blow hits Annabeth and throws her across the room. She was lucky that it was only Kronos´ arm and not his blade. She could have been dead in a second.

“Luke” she tries to speak, but she almost can't get a sound out.

“Annabeth”, you shout, as you understand what she is trying to do. Her grey eyes search for yours, begging you silently. You give her a reassuring nod. Truly, a brilliant girl.

You gather all your strength and step forward. “Luke! Luke, can you hear me? I know, you´re still there.”

Kronos freezes and watches you, giving Percy the chance to scurry over to Annabeth.

Trying to suppress the tears that well, you force yourself to smile. You try to remember all the beautiful moments that you and Luke shared. Holding hands while walking around camp, watching the sunsets while enjoying some snacks, gentle kisses while sitting around the campfire.

You don´t want to believe that this Luke was gone. He has to still be there, somewhere underneath the monster that Kronos created.

“Do you remember my birthday?”, you ask him, while watching him intensively to see whether that triggers a reaction in him. “A few days before, I had told you about the chocolate chip muffins that my grandma used to make. You baked them for me, remember? And on my birthday you came to wake me up really really early in the morning. Clarisse almost murdered you for throwing pebbles on the cabin window, remember?”

You chuckle as you figuratively see your sisters face in front of you. Gods, on that day even you were afraid of her.

“You wanted to watch the sunrise together, remember? At our spot.” You search for a sign, for any sign, that Luke hears you. That he is still there. “The spot where you first kissed me. Do you remember that? The shore of the lake.”

Kronos´ expression changes. “Y/N”

Luke! Your heart skips a beat as you hear his voice. Is it enough? Have you gotten through to him?

He stumbles towards you, trying to suppress Kronos for at least a few seconds.

“Do you remember the gift you gave me?” You ask, your voice now lively, excited even.

Slowly Luke nods. “The silver bracelet with the forever symbol.”

“Exactly!” You laugh out, the first tears streaming down your face. “You want to see it?”

Luke´s eyes widen. “You still have it? You… you kept it, even though I…”

“Of course I kept it.” You roll up your sleeve and show it to him. You thought about throwing it away a few times, but you never had the heart to do it.

Maybe you kept it as a reminder that the time with Luke was real, maybe because something deep inside you hoped that one day you would wake up from this nightmare and find out that all of this was just a dream. A really bad dream.

Luke looks at you, frowning deeply. You notice how hard he tries to not let Kronos break through. How much longer can he keep this up? A few seconds? One minute?

"Do you still love me?”, he finally manages to say.

You look at him. His eyes. His beautiful eyes. “Yes, I always did.”

“Enough!” Kronos´ voice echoed across the room. Luke lost control. Something dark hisses through the air and shortly afterwards you feel a sharp pain shooting through your body.

At first you don´t realize what happened, you only hear Annabeth and Percy scream. Then your legs give away and you fall to the ground. Blood. On your hands, on your shirt.

The sound of clashing weapons. Annabeth and Percy have thrown themselves back into the fray in an attempt to push Kronos away from you. They scream Luke´s name, trying to help him get control again.

The image blurs before your eyes. The wound is too deep. Too much blood.

“Y/N!” Luke. He managed to suppress Kronos. Hopefully longer than a few seconds.

Annabeth and Percy look at you, tears streaming down their faces. They hesitate, not wanting to come too close as they want to give you and Luke some privacy. Nevertheless they stand ready if Kronos takes over again. 

Immediately Luke hurries over to you and falls down on his knees beside you.

It became more and more exhausting to keep your eyes open. “Luke” you manage to whisper, your voice breaking.

“I´m here.” His voice is as soft as you remember it. As soft as it was on the day he told you he loved you for the first time.

You try to lift your hand, but you don´t have the strength to do so.

“Please don´t die”, he whispers as he slowly starts stroking your hair. He keeps repeating his words, begging you, begging the gods, begging Kronos.

You blink and try your best to smile. However, due to the pain that rushes through your body, it becomes more of a grimace.

“I love you, Y/N”, Luke tells you, unable to hold back his tears, “Please forgive me”

And as you close your eyes you can feel his lips softly kissing yours.

Faith. Even though all these years he has made the worst decisions one can ever make, you're sure he's finally going to do the right thing.

[aonungyoufuck]

My first time requesting (sorry if I get something wrong)

how about a fic where Neteyam and the reader are mated in secret because Jake and Neytiri don't approve of the relationship and they already have someone to be the future partner and tsahik, but Neteyam ended up getting the reader pregnant and thinking that now they will have parental support they reveal their relationship but Jake and Neytiri get super mad and start an argument with the reader and Neteyam making the reader feel sick and almost lose their baby, Neteyam then makes a decision and runs away with the reader to the Metakyina Reef, a year later the family Sully goes to the Metakyina Reef looking for shelter and find his son, wife and grandson and now and now trying to win their trust again

For you The world

warnings: almost losing a baby but thats it

Anon you have no idea how excieted i was to write this! like your brain is so massive for this im so serious. I hope you enjoy it.

It was no secret to anyone with eyes. Neteyam had eyes only for you. Much to his parents' Distaste. He had tried to reason with them that they had chosen each other. Why couldn’t he? 

But it was the will of Eywa they would often say. Guiding them to a future where things were right. It would be Ku’kuri who would be by his side, they would constantly say. And while Neteyam found her nice to talk too. Great at making him laugh. She would stray her love somewhere else. She was just as much roped into it as he was. 

Oftentimes covering for him when he wanted to come see You. You who were by far the most caring Na’vi he knew. 

You had no ‘talent’ as his parents and grandmother put. Not a healer, Not the best warrior. But he got to see you. You were skilled in the art of making bows. Yes, not the greatest of skills. But he got to see how much love and dedication you put into etching and carving the wood into something mighty for those who came to you asking. 

Not many people did ask, But when they did he watched as you got to know them. Talk to them while you were carving out the bow. Etching and putting their words, Their souls, their way of talking into the bow. 

And there you were. Carving a new stroke into your own bow. Hunting wasn’t something you did often. More so for the fact that your mother brought in plenty. 

“oel ngati kameie” He greeted you, as you followed his lead. 

“oel ngati kameie, Neteyam” You smiled, putting down your bow and looking at him. It was no secret to you two that you had been mated for quite some time now. No one else knew. And Neteyam had thanked Eywa for ever being so kind as to allow such a bond. 

He would play his part. He would until he would tell the entire world how you were his and he was yours. He would play it well. 

“I have something to tell you Nete” you gingerly spoke. Avoiding eye contact as your cheeks let out the faintest of hue’s. It was like that day you had chosen each other. Finally ready to be together until your ends. 

“What is it Yawnetu?” he asked, laying his head on yours. Watching as your expression changed. Smiling so brightly down at him. 

Swearing he felt as if every star in the universe was smiling down at him.  

“My dear I know your parents dont approve of me because of my lack of skills. And I may not be the best Tsahik option. But you have made me the happiest these last few months of our mating bond. And happier as you stood by me for so many years” 

It felt like his heart was soaring up in the sky where he would often fly to get away from everyone but only think of you. 

“And i hope to bring you happiness with the news I bear” you said, grabbing his hand. Kissing it before guiding it towards your naval. Your smile shining far brighter with a glow that only seemed to affect Neteyam  as he looked into your eyes for an answer 

“My love?”

“I bear a child my dearest heart” 

Neteyam was always a calm man. Always one to contain his excitement, or his displeasure if something ever so bothered him. It took a little longer for the words to process, Perhaps because he didn’t see it coming. 

 But once he did he gently rubbed your stomach. Making you let out the softest of giggles as you watched his expression brighten. 

“You are with child?”

“ I am” 

He couldn’t contain it. His laugh and his spirit as he picked you up and tossed you around him. Both of your laughs were so loud in the forest that it was no doubt someone ought to hear it. 

Luckily no one had. 

“How far along are you love?” 

“Guessing by the only time we ever been intimate. four months my love” 

Neteyam smiled. Kissing you as he held on so tightly. “I am happy my dear” 

You smiled laughing with him as he went ahead and looked at your naval. “My little warrior” 

“What are you two doing” 

Startled. You two looked to your right. Neteyams family was by no means harsh or rude. But they were intimidating, As was his mother.

Her powerful eyes boring into the two of you, as Jake stood beside her. It all seem to stop. The terror and the excitement. But Neteyam could only smile. 

Perhaps this was the push he wanted. Perhaps this was what was needed for his parents to finally except this relationship. So holding onto your hand and smiling gently at you he nodded. 

“Y/n here is with child” Neteyam announced. Puffing out his chest. He was by no means a prideful man. But announcing you always showing you off always you, it was pride that filled his heart to call you his own. “My child” 

“What?” Both his parents asked. Now frantic as they stood in front of them. Mirroring them. 

Your ears dropped, Scared. Afraid and feeling so cold, A shiver ran up your spine as you stared at both parents glaring daggers. 

“We have mated before Eywa many months ago. I would have told you but you always talk about Ku’kuri and-”

“Neteyam, You have disobeyed the will of Eywa.” His mother yelled  before turning to you. 

“You cannot have decided on someone who offered herself to you” 

“Mother!” 

“Your mother is right. Son I understand loving someone but we must do things we don’t want sometimes”  Jake spoke rubbing his temples as he always had done when he was highly stressed. 

Your grip on his hand tightened. Tears formed as you could only bow your head in shame. 

“And you! You knew he was promised. You knew we said no. And you disobeyed rules from The Olo’eyktan!” Neytiri shouted at you. 

You began to sob. Neytiri was always someone to look up to. Someone of legends just as Toruk Makto and it hurt so much to have such will and such shame cast on you “I am sorry!” 

“You better be! Neteyam you are to go home and never speak to her again! I’ll ask Sa’nok how on pandora we can break this bond!” 

“You Can not!  That is My child!” 

“We will Take the child if it caused you less trouble, to cause!” Neytiri said. Ever the mother she was was her scorn much worse. 

Jake held onto Neteyam dragging him away as he continued to argue. Beg and pray that they never lay a hand on you. 

You could only choke out the sobs as you watched him be dragged away. 

“You are to never come in contact with him again, Understood?” 

You merely nodded. Feeling the stress and the pain of it all begin to burn you. Your heart aching with a pain you couldnt understand

“Good, stay away from my sons. And maybe i’ll be merciful on you” 

You nodded. Watching as she too left. 

No longer being able to hear. It felt like your whole world has killed you. Walking back home was only second nature. Walking felt like many thorns were being pushed into your legs and thighs. You felt hot and cold at the same time. Your heart was beating so fast and before you could mutter a word out to greet Ku’kuri who was right in front of you. All you could see was the world fade around you. 

And ever the beat of the great mother calmed your every being. 

“I cannot believe you neteyam!” 

“ Let me see her! That’s my mate!” 

“Neteyam you have done everything we asked for until now! How could you do this?” Jake asked, pushing Neteyam back into their hut. 

“You have always chosen everything for me! Why cant i have this?” 

“Because it was not blessed!” Neytiri spoke now looking down on her son. 

When had he grown? she wondered. 

“ I dont care about anything you say anymore! Just let me be happy. All my life i’ve been stuck doing and saying everything you want me to! And if being the next Olo’eyktan is preventing this happiness fine i dont care! I dont want it anyways Just please let me see her. That’s my Mate that is my child!” 

Before anyone else could speak Tuk barged in. “Kiri! Where’s kiri!” She asked frantically. 

“Tuk? What’s the matter?” 

“I’m here” 

“Grandmother needs help! Ku’kuri brought Y/n To grandmother! She’s in bad Shape come on” 

Now as much as they wanted to ignore it They couldn’t Neytiri followed her children As had Neteyam who could only function on autopilot. Where had it all gone wrong he wonders. 

He stared in horror, frozen in a state of shock as he watched the women in his family help you. 

He was ever so thankful that Ku’kuri had a hand to his shoulder. Keeping him grounded in the moment for he would be lost in thought. 

Watching as your body convulsed and burned. Only coming out of his haze as he heard his Grandmother speak

“Eywa do not let her lose this child” 

His eyes began to water, tears falling onto his hand. Ever so grateful for the friend Ku’kuri was. 

The horrors he watched. He could only pray hard. Pray so hard till his lips bled and till his eyes got tired that Eywa would ever be so kind to not let anything happen to you and the babe. 

It was silent, Far to quiet when you came too. You felt the rag on your forehead and your body was sore. It seemed you had done a lot of strenuous movement. Turning to your left you saw Ku’kuri who was wetting a rag before seeing you. She smiled. 

You didn’t know how kind she was, Neteyam had always told you of how she would always cover for you. But finally being able to witness it first hand made you so grateful to see her face instead of Neteyam’s family. 

“She’s awake” She muttered Moving your used rag and replacing it with a cold one. 

You felt his hand before you saw him. His eyes were full of worry, full of sadness and pain. But you managed to make out something in them you had never seen before. Anger

“Ma Y/n” 

“Neteyam” you mustered out gently. Feeling yourself begin to cry. He laid his forehead to yours. His tears rolled down your temple as you two cried together. His hand squeezing yours and you could feel his heavy sobs. 

Nearly losing you two was the most heartbreak he could take. It was all he would take. He whipped his eyes looking at the other person in the little hut. 

“Yes?”

“I’m taking my family away from here. Please in about a couple minutes or so. I want you to head out and in that time. I will be taking y/n away from here” 

“What?”

“Where will you be going?” 

Neteyams lips pressed together as he looked at you. So tired and so frail. 

“I dont know yet. I’m sorry you were dragged into this” 

“Never be sorry for this. This is not something to be sorry for” 

She nodded. Smiling at you and squeezing your hand  before heading out “i’ll buy you some time. I wish to see you someday Neteyam, As well as you Y/n. i do hope you two are happy and well wherever you go” 

Neteyam watched her go. Quickly helping you stand before offering you a piggyback ride. 

You couldn’t believe what was happening. You couldn't imagine this would have happened. Only wishing you could live a simple life. Happy with him. 

The horn sounded. And like clockwork the Metkayina gathered to where the Ikrans have landed. Forest people weren’t uncommon. Oftentimes only ever showing up when news had to travel. 

Neteyam bowed his head. Extending his hands to his sides as a form of surrender. Tail wrapped around your waist as he kept you behind him. Your shawl covered you as you looked at the sand. Ever more so upset and afraid. 

“oel ngati kameie” Neteyam greeted the Olo’eyktan as he returned the greeting back. 

You had never felt so small until this moment. 

“oel ngati kameie, To you as well” 

“I am Neteyam. I am Toruk Maktos’ firstborn” He began grabbing your shoulder as he pressed you to his side. 

Your eyes looked up. Meeting the gaze of the Olo’eyktan and the Tsahik. Behind them are two young Metkayina. No doubt their children. 

“I seek Uturu if you so may allow it” 

There was a hushed whisper around them. Murmurs as the two looked at each other before turning to you two again. 

“Has something happened to your clan?” The Tsahik asked 

“No. We are safe, I seek Uturu for my family. I do not wish to say what’s happened. But my mate here Is with a child. And is no longer safe at home. We understand if you don’t allow it.” Neteyam bowed his head. His hand resting on your stomach before looking at them for an answer. 

The tsahik came to you two. Analyzing you, Weak arms and tails. But she saw your pain, your exhaustion and how done you looked. “Your arms are thin. Your tail is weak. You will be weak in the water” 

“We are willing to learn” 

She looked at him. Sorrow follows those doomed to never follow their hearts. 

“You will learn our ways, follow are rules and no longer be Omaticaya. Do you understand?”

“I do. I just wish to keep my mate and child safe”

“ I am Ronal. I accept you If Tonowari accepts as well” 

She was harsh when needed. Cruel when she wanted. But kind to those who needed guidance.  She was kind, a mother would do anything to keep her kids safe. And she was happy to see it happen, though she wished to wipe away that pain from the two of you. 

“Neteyam has sought Uturu. Treat him and his mate as our brother and sister. For they are weak. Let them know our way as if they are babies taking their first breath. Let them not know the shame of being useless” 

You bowed your head. As did Neteyam. 

“Tsireya my daughter will show you where you can stay, Ao’nung and her will teach you our ways” 

“Tsu’ru” You gently spoke. Handing over your newborn son to Ronal to clean him off. Neteyam just outside the Marui. Two excruciating hours, two hours in labor. No doubt the whole village was waiting for any news of their newest member in their clan. 

You had always imagined your first born would be held by your mother. Your family around you. And in some way that is what was happening. Ronal had taken you in as a mother and you were so grateful for that. 

The first few months were the most unbearable pain you could have gone through. Tsireya and Ronal had been a good support, aside Neteyam. You were grateful for it too. Keeping you going keeping you healthy. 

You were so grateful to for the support Tonowari and Ao’nung provided for Neteyam. You were ever more grateful for the family sticking by you. 

In the time you had lived here. A year exactly you had made the most of life. Having found family in the Olo’eyktan’s family. Have made friends and you would not be more thankful. 

Neteyam half joked that being friends with Rotxo was like preparing for a baby. And now you were kinda thankful he was right. No fear came to your heart. You were no longer afraid of having and raising a child. 

You saw Ronal smile. Seeing your son give her a gummy smile. 

“Come. Let us show our people the fine warrior you have given birth too” 

You nodded. Standing up as you followed her. Holding Neteyam’s hand once you saw him. His eyes full of love and tears as well as he could only see his son being moved to Tonowari’s arms. 

“Eywa has blessed this clan with a fine warrior!” 

Cheers. Laughter and the warm feeling of pride as you saw Tsu’ru be handed to his father. 

He looked so much like him and you were ever so much more in love. 

Supporting his head and his bottom he rose him above to the sun. A tradition kept back home and it made you let out the softest laugh as you watched your babe be bathed by the rays of the sun. 

“Tsu’ru” He claimed proudly. 

And the clan chanted his name. Tonight would be a moment of celebration. 

Rotxo and Ao’nung coming to Neteyam’s side as they congratulated Neteyam for his son. 

Tsireya handing you a cup for you to drink. Stating how proud of you she was too. 

But your happiness would be unfortunately cut short. 

The sounds of horns signaling someone’s arrival. Neteyam holding his son close to his chest and you behind him. 

You followed behind him. Behind all of them as you watched how everyone surrounded the newcomers. 

Ikrans

Familiar to Neteyam. 

“You two stay behind us” Ao’nung suggested as he and Rotxo went ahead of the crowd. 

Neteyam didn't even bother to hide. His gaze was deadly. Angry with something you had never seen in so long. 

“Neteyam?” 

“Let us go back to our Marui love. No business being here” 

You rose a brow. Worried at his expression as you just followed orders. 

Whatever it was. It was not good and you knew it. 

You knew that even if he acted as if everything was okay. It wasn’t  and you knew as much. 

Your Pod was filled with something stale. He was on high Alert and you knew it. You saw it in the way that he kept looking at the entrance of the pod. You gently set Tsu’ru down in the basket before finally asking what was wrong. 

“Neteyam! Your family is here!” Rotxo announced as he came into your shared pod. 

Now the same panic you felt so long ago was back. It was as if you were getting scolded again. 

“Ma Neteyam?”

“Dont be scared. I wont let them ever yell at you again” He spoke gently resting his forehead on yours. 

You took in this moment with him. At ease with the world and happy again

“Not like they could do anything. I wont let them” Ao’nung announced. You were glad you had this support system. 

Hearing your babe begin to cry you could only sigh and went ahead to see what was the matter. 

“Neteyam?” it was all you heard. You had Tsu’ru in your arms. His arms dangling as he tried to reach you. You looked past him and saw his parents. You wondered where his siblings were. 

“y/n?” 

You quietly hissed, tucking your baby into you and hiding behind him again. The newborn smell and your hormones are still driving you. Neteyams arm extended as he pushed you behind him. His Tattoos were so nice to look at if it weren't for the fact that his family was distracting you. 

“We don’t want anything to do with you. My family and i were passing along” Neteyam stated. 

You had been on your way to have dinner with the olo’eyktan and had only stopped to admire your kid’s happy giggle. 

You could have sworn you heard Neteyam growl. His tail wrapping around you. 

“Neteyam! My son”

You saw Neytiri try to reach you. But  stopped Neteyam take out his hunting knife and keep it out in front of him. Letting out a warning hiss. 

“Do not- Stay there. Stay away from My family” 

“Kid-” 

“No. You dont get to threaten my mate and risk my child and act as if it is all fine” neteyam spoke. Bringing the attention of Ronal and Tonowari . 

“Son.. We’re sorry. I am sorry for ever pushing you away. I made mistakes and im sorry for not thinking of your happiness too” Neytiri apologized. 

Jake standing beside her. Looking at the two of you before turning to you. 

“ I am sorry too. We got to choose who to be with. And im sorry for not letting you have that too” 

You felt Ronal hold your shoulders as she looked at the other adults. 

“My children. Are Jakesully and his mate bothering you dears?” 

You turned to look at her and then Neteyam. 

He continued to look at his parents. Their eyes full of sorrow and guilt yet. But he couldn’t forget the feeling of almost losing you two. How you convulsed and stopped reacting as he could do nothing but watch. 

He wanted to forgive that sin. Wanted to say it was alright and that he was okay. But your lives were almost lost. He almost lost you two. And that was something that was hard to forgive. 

“ No, Tsahik please take Y/n and Tsu’ru inside i just want to have a few words with.. Toruk Makto and his mate” 

Ronal nodded Leading the way. You watched the way he looked tense. But you had to bite back your tongue 

Neteyam watched you go. Before turning his glare towards his parents. 

“I can be around my siblings and i will allow them to know of my son. But i dont want to know you.You may grovel and beg for forgiveness but i wont forgive you” 

“Neteyam please” 

“ Im not done speaking” 

His gaze soften as he could only think of you two “ I have a wonderful family. I am happy how i am and it is up to her to forgive you. But i wont! Because you nearly caused my babe to die. And Eywa may forgive you and she may too. You may ask her what you have to do to make it up to her and my son! But i dont want you near my family. I dont want to see you. I want you to beg” 

He no longer was the perfect son that they had raised. Now his eyes full of hurt and anger looked at them. The past coming back to haunt them. 

“ I want you to beg, i want you to grovel, i want you to suffer and to always know that i wont forgive you so easily. You are not allowed around my Family alone or at all. Lo’ak, Kiri and Tuk may but not you two. For you wont know my scorn until you are near them understood?”

Neytiri nodded as had jake. She could only fight back tears 

“Get out of my face. I don’t want be near you” 

Neteyam watched them go. 

He could never forgive what they had done. What they could have caused. He would let you decide it. You two were his world and if you didnt want anything to do with his parents. He wouldn’t either.

[icarusredwings]

It's bed time, kiddo 2/3

Wade's being a brat. Althea ain't having that.

Tw: Mentions of alcohol and voices

Opening the fridge, He leaned over to get a soda. Turning, he kicked it closed, beginning to hum as he popped open the tab. Putting it to his lips, he glanced up, jolting hard. Spitting out the soda, his hand coming to his chest as he fell back against the couter.

"Wade! Jesus fucking christ!!"

"Hi wolvie..."

"You just almost got sliced in half!! What is wrong with you!? Do you want me to hurt you!? For fucks sake!"

"...." his eyes widdened and frowned, pulling Fluffy up to hold tighter.

"Im sorry.. sorry.. I just-" he took a deep breath and sighed. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" He asks, looking as if he had just seen a ghost, trying to calm down, gripping the counter.

"...My tummy feels sad."

"What? You were just asleep. I saw it."

From the living room, Al spoke up with a soft smirk. "How does it feel? Fuckers so silent. Scares the shit out of me all the time."

"But... my tummy is sad."

"What does that mean??" He squinted some, trying to work out this weird puzzle of words.

"He's either hungry or he's anxious about something." The older woman says. "Now shut up, I'm trying to watch Wheel of Fortune."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Sure you are..." He turns to see Wade looking a little too scared for his liking.

"So... uhm.. Are you hungry?"

But he dosn't awnser, staring at him with such hesitancy as if Logan would snap at him again if he awnsered.

Grunting, Logan mentally stabbed himself. Wade was so sensitive to him yelling. He knew this. All that trust.. so easily taken away. "What do you want to eat, kid? Hot dogs?"

Still, he stares. His shoulders slouch, bringing his hand up to rub his face. "..Come're," he tells him, opening an arm to him. Immediately, he came, starting to sob.

Rubbing his back, Logan let out yet another sigh. "I know.. I know, Im sorry. I didn't.." he didn't mean to scare him. He hated scaring him, actually. Made him want to get his claws surgically removed, but you know, declawing your kitty was unethical. He needed to be able to scratch sometimes.

He had been so freaked out that Logan had to pick him up again, softly bouncing him and telling him it was okay.

"Wade, cut that shit out! You're a big boy remember?"

"He's allowed to cry." The man says, confused as to why Al was rude, seeing as she's the one who told him to be nice the first time.

"Logan, sweetheart.. You know he's faking, right?"

"...what?"

"That boy is pulling a burlap sack over your eyes and water boarding you."

Logan blinked at the woman. ".. I dont think thats how that saying goes.."

"Oh well, anyway, he's fake crying. He does that to get what he wants and he's turning you into a fool."

Logan shifted him to the counter, giving him a suspicious glance. "Is that tru- oh you little shit!"

Wade's face wasn't even wet. Sure, his eyes were glossy but nowhere near the amount of crying he was claiming. Holding fluffy closer to his face, he looked at him like a guilty dog, almost ashamed if it wasn't for the tiny pull at the corner of his lips. He was proud of his preformance.

"Are you happy with yourself? Hm?" He crosses his arms, looking at him sternly.

A soft nod.

Logan snorted softly. "At least you're telling the truth... so what do you want?"

Again he whispers, "My tummy is sad."

Thinking about what Althea said, He rose a brow, beginning to playfully and driamtically sniff over him. A soft squeal and giggles came from him, trying to push his face away. "Noo!! Kitty! Don't bite!!"

"Fucking freaks.." Al grumbled, Petting the rat dog in her lap.

"Hmm.. Okay. You're telling the truth about that. But why is your tummy sad? Does it hurt?"

He shook his head.

"Are you hungry?" He asks again. For a moment, Wade thinks, trying to see if he was hungry.

"Cup?"

Logan shook his head. "Nope. Bed time."

"But.." he was trying to find his words.

"Mommy said I can ask for cup whenever I want."

His brows raised a bit, both surprised and proud of how many words he said. "That's true but I'm not mommy."

Instantly he began pouting, frowning and crossing his arms, mimicing the way Logan did often. "Why?"

"Ppft. Yeah, Logan, why are you not Mommy?" The grandmother asks, teasing him. It seemed that the closer he got with people, the more teasing he got, too. It made him feel home.

"You're not helping." He gives her a quick glare despite the fact she couldn't see it, now turning back to Wade, putting his hands on either side of him as he sat. "Why what? Why no cup?"

He nods with a huff.

"Wade, It's bedtime. No more cups."

"You're being mean." He whines, kicking the back of the counter with a loud grunt.

Rolling his eyes. "It's not being mean, You don't need anymore alchool. You've already had 5 shots tonight. No more. Especially not if you're going to act like that." He grumbles, wishing he didn't act like a brat every time Vanessa came over. She always spoiled him too much.

He whines loudly, being quite annoying. "But you get a lot."

"Im big." Logan says blatantly, having learned that this usually stopped him from questioning any further.

"Oh yeah....." He mumbled, begining to think as he petted Fluffy. "Hmm...can I just have milk?"

"Juice. Take it or leave it."

"In my cup?"

He groans. "Yes in your cup."

"Okay!"

And so, He comes around the counter, opening the fridge once again as he grabs the grape juice, filling up the Spiderman cup after rinsing it out decently well.

Taking the cup, He began drinking it, now kicking his feet happily that he not only caused a scene, got his cup, but also stayed up later, then he was told. To him, that was a massive win.

"There. Now go to bed."

"You come?"

"Sure, why not. If it'll make you go to bed, then fine." By now, he figured he probably wouldn't go to sleep and stay asleep unless someone was in bed with him.

He's gotten used to sleeping with Althea for years now, so it made sense why he wouldn't be able to stay asleep if alone. He usually only slept by himself if it was a sick day and he wanted to be left alone.

"Come on. You want me to carry you?"

His eyes widden as he nods quickly only to pause. "Kitty..."

"What now?" He wanted to lay his head on the counter and just not awnser him anymore but he knew this wasn't a good idea. Then Wade would just get into things and make a mess for them to clean up.

Either that or end up with the whole bottle again to chug what was left of it. He knew that it made his head shut up for a little bit, he knew full well that, that 5 minutes of silence was worth the loss of balance but he didn't want Wade following into his bad habits... He was trying to be a better role model for him.

"Im hungry..." Though the way he says this was as if he knew Logan would be upset with him, smiling sheepishly as he held fluffy tight, close to his face. The cuter he looked the less he thought he'd get introuble.

"What!? But I just asked if you were hungry like 5 minutes ago?!"

He batted his eyes, whining softly. "...I wasn't hungry then.."

So. Here they are. All 4 of the housemates on the couch, Wade with a plate of microwaved hot dogs and ketchup all over his fingers, Logan in the middle trying his damndest not to fall asleep, and Al, who was snoring already as A re-run played on the tv.

Giggling at whatever was going on in his head, Wade seemed happy as a clam as he clapped. At least, that's what Logan thought. In reality, He was sneaking pieces of hot dog to Puppins, who was wiggling her bare tail and spinning in cirlces as well as licking the ketchup off of him.

It wasn't until Wade let out an audible yet giggly "Ewww you're so yucky." From the feeling of her tounge trying to wrap around and eat his finger instead that Logan sat up. "Hey! What did I tell you about feeding her ketchup!?"

Squealing again, He gave her an entire hot dog and shooed the dog. "Run puppy!!"

And so she did, taking her prize from being adorable and doing tricks, running away from them, slipping under the table in which Logan grunted, reaching under to try to get it away from her.

Look- Its not that the hot dog was bad, it was the fact that it wasn't cut and was slathered in vinegar and tomato paste. He didn't want her to puke, nor choke but by the time he got it from her, she has already devoured half of it.

"Damn it, Wade!"

Picking up the little dog, He couldn't stop giggling, the sugar from the grape juice working through his system. "Kitty's gonna get us, Puppy!" He says to her as she barks, happily wagging more as she was having the best time, so many scraps tonight.

Running from Logan, he huffed, glaring. "I'm too old for this shit!" He growls. Catching Wade was like trying to grab an oiled weasel. Slipping through your fingers and biting your arm once you got ahold of them. How Al slept through the chase? Who knows. But when he did catch him, he threw him over his shoulder, carrying him away to the bed.

"Nooooo!!" He whined, reaching out for the dog to save him though she just sat here, panting and wiggling her behind against the floor.

"Traitor!" He called the puppy, whose head tilted and itched her ear, watching her owner get dragged away to his doom (bed time).

[lovebvni]

Winter Themed Pick-A-Pile !! (from 12.21.21)

❍⌇─➭ welcome to ﹀﹀     ︵↷

⌗my blog : ๑ ˚ ͙۪۪̥◌ ⌨꒱

Here are the questions we'll be answering today! Summited by the LOVELY Rozy !!

1. What do I need to do to fully shift?

2. Shifting advice from your spirit guides.

3. Shifting journey for this month.

4. Advice from your s/o.

There will be 4 piles today, all unique, but you can always pick more than one!! But remember, everything comes with a grain of salt because this is an amino with over a THOUSAND people in it. It wont be specific just to you ! Also, if you're unsure, just do this for me.

Take a deep breath in....

Hold for 3

Now let it out and allow your intuition to speak.

The first number 1-4 that comes to mind, THAT'S going to be your pile. If more than one comes, trust it.

[1, 2

3,4]

Pile 1 - With your perfect toes TRIGGER WARNING : DERALISATION IN THE 3RD QUESTION, ALSO DEPRESSION AND MENTIONS OF TRAUMA/SH

Spirit, What does Pile 1 need to fully shift? Like a final push?

The Hierophant (R), The Devil (R) The Chariot

I feel like you guys need to let go of traditions, or routines! You don't need ANYTHING other than yourself to shift, you're powerful! Your doubts, I feel like you're silently telling yourself you'll never shift, You will ! I promise, so STOP telling yourself you're weak, worthless, etc. Then you're gonna STRIVE!

Shifting advice, from your spirit guides !

King of Swords, 2 of Pentacles (R), 10 of Swords (R)

Okay wait, let me say something, I think you're shifting before january 1st... I got 10 of swords and thats like the end of waiting for something. Realize your power, and the good things will run to YOU !! Write a letter to SOMEONE, ANYONE in your dr ! I feel like they'll be really happy about it ! I see an abundance of good luck and success for you guys, just the weight of the world being lifted off you, just so much peace, happiness, love, abundance, GOD I love you guys sm, keep working for you goal ! Just - GOD I LOVE THIS I CANT IM GOING TO CRY!! I FELT MY HEART JUST FLOAT ITS - GODDAMIT I CANT WORDS !

Your shifting journey this month

Page of Pentacles (R), King of Swords, 3 of Swords + Ace of Pentacles

I don't think you guys have that great attraction to this reality... I feel as if you're going to suffer this WHOLE month because of one bad thing that happened, you heart is in pain, you want to end it all, DONT! I see a new beginning for you this month, so PLEASE! Don't stop trying, everything seems like its falling apart, it's not I swear!

General Advice from your s/o

10 of Pentacles(R), The Devil, The Chariot

OKAY WAIT THESE ARE THE SAME CARDS FROM QUESTION ONE??? THE DEVIL AND THE CHARIOT - BUT THIS TIME THE DEVIL IS UPRIGHT...

But they saying stop obsessing over someone/something, like material possessions? but probably not, that only applies to some of you. There's stuff going on around you, and I can tell, that's black energy, let go of it, cleanse it, FUCKING BLOCK IT OUT! That will help you move forward a LOT !!!

I hope this pile made you realize something !! also check this out below !!

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers): distractions, shifting for your s/o, love, lack of self-love, misunderstood, determined, "it's set in stone", "It's stuck in my chest", messages, lots of signs, heartbreak, blood,  the colour red, Himiko Toga, Hisoka (bestie idk), derealization, spacing out, ADHD, ADD, attention disorders, stop - no go, WAIT STOP (almost like things you're being told are contradicting), material girl, Air signs, Capricorns, Cancer, Fire signs, 555, 111, 1111

Pile 2 - the deer is gonna start chasing you soon, NOW RUN !!!

Spirit, What does Pile 2 need to fully shift? Like a final push?

The Empress, 8 of Wands, 8 of cups

Realize. I could stop right there, but you just need to REALIZE everything. You are SO LOVED !! You have so many good things coming to you. A union is coming, I can tell your shifting for someone, probably friends and just to have fun.Walk away from ALL the doesn't serve you, things that aren't helping, worthless things.

Spirit, can Pile 2 have some shifting advice?

Ace of Cups, The Lovers, 10 of Wands

Okay, there is a new beginning coming, but you need to realize you need to SPEND TIME with your partner, weather in your cr or dr, I feel like they miss you and feel lieft out rom your life.

Can I know something about Pile 2's shifting journey this month?

6 of Wands, The Empress, 2 of Swords(R)

You're going to win SOME kind of fight !! I feel like you guys are going to get your first shift or a BIG boost of motivation to shift. But you guys are SO FUCKING WORRED ABT IT ! choose where and when you wanted to shift, stop making changes to your script.

Does Pile 2's s/o have any general advice?

The Devil (R), Ace of Cups, 5 of Cups

You're being freed soon! You cup isn't going to be half full or half empty, ITS GOING TO BE OVERFLOWING!! You're going to let go of SOMETHING or SOMEONE and that's going to make such a difference. They love you btw! < 333 Positive energy is coming !

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers):  Hunchback, sitting weird, overthinker, Panic attacks, Panic Room - Au/Ra, intuition driven, physic, Cancer, Water signs, 888

OMG PILE 3 IS GETTING MARRIED !!! ROUND OF APPLAUSE !!!

What does pile 3 need to shift? Do they even need to do something?

Ace of Swords (R), Queen of Swords, 2 of Cups

Okay, you guys need to get out your little shitty bubbly and TALK TO PEOPLE !! This will help a lot, I feel like talking to shifters will help, like-minded people are ALWAYS the best to speak to. I know, you're independent, but you can't do everything alone.

We need shifting advice for pile 3, I've been doing this for 4 hours PLEASE -

Knight of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, Judgement (R)

Your prince is coming~ they could also be a princess. Come True - khai dreams, Forest came on so uh.... listen to that  But realize good things are coming to you ! Focus on the best version of yourself, you're a ruler ! You are NOT what anyone negatively says to you, you're amazing.

Pile 3's shifting journey this month?

Page of Swords, Strength, Judgement (R)

If you have the strength, determination, and reality to shift this month, you will.

General advice from Pile 3's s/o's

5 of Pentacles, 8 of Cups, The Emperor

I dropped all my cards during this omg... but major Bakugou vibes. You're going to get everything you've ever wanted and more IF you just TALK, SPREAD UR WISDOM !!! Just make a blog on something, you prob have drafts you should inish it and post it

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers): Air signs, independence, introvert, 1010, Denki Kaminari, Hunter x Hunter(listen to the intro song rn), Clumsy

Pile 4, FINALLY, bestie i've been at this for 5 hours

What does Pile 4 need to fully shift?

10 of Cups, Ace of Cups, The Chariot

Go check out Pile 1 after this, but I feel like you guys need to ground yourself. You want to go to one reality, then the next, then the next, in like a dAY this will lead you to move forward with a new beginning.

Shifting advice from your Spirit Guides.

The Hierophant, Page of Wands, The Devil

When you try to shift, look at it like you WILL shift, like you ARE shifting, you ARE in your dr, like you HAVE succeeded !! Any time you get bad news, just be happy, be accepting of it !!

Shifting journey for this month.

9 of Wands, Queen of Cups (R), 7 of Swords (R)

Okay, sadly, you are not shifting this month because of how much you have to changeee, literally I- if you dooooo its because you make a dramatic change quickly. I'd be REALLY suprized if you do shift because you are STUBBORN ASF !!! You're ignoring signs and warnings, stop. Stop.

Advice from you s/o

6 of Wands, Knight of Wands, The Lovers

Socialize, try to get in a better position by talking to others. I feel like you're taking a trip/going on a journey so enjoy it !!! You're going to meet new peopleand you'll be excited, and hell maybe even meet a cr s/o.

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS PILE (personality traits, things i kept hearing, important things/people, angel numbers): Disappointed, sad, sorry, Fire Signs, stubborn asses, Katsuki Bakugou

Okay guys! I hope you enjoyed the pick-a-pile!! I do private readings if you need anything ! I hope this resonated !! Again sorry pile 4 for being a bit bitchy but Spirit said what Spirit said, and sorry for everyone going through anything, it will get better soon !!!/gen

[cloudcountry]

proper compensation

Genre/Tropes: No notable ones!!

Summary: Leona and Jamil went chasing Grim around Styx and got him back to you safely. It's only fair you offer them proper compensation.

Author's Comments: this was inspired by a dialogue part between leona and jamil during the phantom node searching in chapter 67 sector eight. i was so inspired that i wrote a four page oneshot for it for some reason. this might have made me a jamil stan. i dont know how all this ends because i havent finished it yet so this might be canon divergent (it probably is) so dont kill me please OKAY THANK YOU

~~~~~

There’s a knock on Ramshackle’s front door in the late hours of the afternoon. After everything that happened at Styx, you refused to let Grim out of your sight, and that includes leaving him to answer the door. He’s been unusually tired, content to accept your affection and sleep in your arms, happy and safe with the person he trusts. You hold him gently as you stand up, walking towards the door. You manage to stoop over just enough to get it open, and you’re met with the sight of two familiar people.

“Can I help you?” you ask, raising a confused brow. You don’t normally see Jamil and Leona together like this, much less together here.

“We got you back your furball.” Leona grunts, waving dismissively at the cat monster curled up in your arms, “It’s perfectly reasonable to compensate us for the return.”

“Indeed.” Jamil smiles, but there’s something so ingenuine about it that you can’t help but shiver.

“I…don’t have any money.” you fumble, trying to think up something to give them, “I can…do chores? Or something?”

You doubt they would accept your dusty furniture, and if there’s one thing you’ve learned from people at NRC, it's that everything comes with a price, and you best pay it in full if you don’t want to get screwed over.

“Nah. I got Ruggie. I don’t need another errand runner.” Leona shakes his head, looking more and more like a predator as the seconds pass.

“I can handle my chores myself. Make no mistake, I’m used to taking care of Kalim.” Jamil steps closer, reaching out to touch your hand, “Come on now, Prefect. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out.”

You’re pretty sure you have figured it out, even if it seems like you haven’t. Because if they don’t want to exploit you like Azul did, they probably want what Ace usually begs for when he does something right (although he detests the word beg.)

“I…think I have an idea.” you confess, gnawing at your lower lip, “Just…let me put down Grim. He fell asleep in my arms and-”

“Oh, please. Allow me.” Jamil swoops his arms under Grim and plucks him out of your arms as easily as yanking a flower out of the grass. You yelp and gape at the boy as he waltzes into Ramshackle without a care in the world.

Like he owns the place.

Sneaky.

“What’s your idea then, herbivore?” Leona snickers, leaning against the doorframe like he also owns the place, “I would love to hear it.”

“Um…would you guys accept kisses as compensation?” you say, wrinkling your nose at just how stupid it sounds when you say it out loud.

Leona lets out a barking laugh, throwing his head back and all. You feel even more embarrassed now, taking his amusement as rejection.

“Oh, you’re smarter than you look.” he huffs, voice thick with amusement, “You nailed it, herbivore. Now are you going to pay up or not?”

You can feel your face growing warm as he leans in, eyes staring straight into your soul as if this doesn’t affect him one bit. Was he so used to teasing and moments like this that they didn’t even phase him anymore? Or were you just a flustered fool, dancing in the palm of his hand?

You ultimately decide that if it means receiving affection from him, you don’t care.

And so you allow him to brush his nose over your cheek, and you allow his breath to fan over your lips as you shut your eyes in anticipation. He laughs at that, too, his hot breath only making you more and more anxious.

“Are you going to kiss me or not?” you grumble, furrowing your brow with your eyes still clamped shut.

“Aww, do you want a kiss?” Leona teases, and you’re about to yell at him when he follows up with a quiet, “Well, fine then.”

And then he’s kissing you.

Your back is pressed against the doorframe as he cradles you against him. His hands are placed securely at your waist as he tilts his head, pushing against you as he searches for more, more. Your head is spinning with it all, and you’re certain if Leona wasn’t holding you up you’d be crumpled over on your doorstep right now. There’s a clear smugness in his movements, especially when he hooks a hand under your thigh and pulls it up. Your face could not be any warmer than it is right now, especially when he squeezes the flesh gently and his claws rake against your skin.

He breaks away and you gasp, the sound soft and bewildered. You brush your fingers along your lower lip, and even though it feels like it's burning it doesn’t burn.

Leona gazes at you, his expression so smug you have half a mind to wipe it off his stupidly handsome face, but then he turns on his heel and starts walking away,

“Well, that’s enough for me.” he yawns as if he didn’t just kiss you breathless (like a satisfied predator), “See ya around, herbivore. Thanks for the compensation.”

You manage to call out a shaky goodbye to him in your shock, mind still reeling and unorganized from the kiss. Why can’t anyone on this campus be predictable?! Never in a million years did you think Leona and-

Wait, Jamil. He didn’t leave.

You were so distracted by Leona that you forgot about Jamil and the fact that he basically shouldered his way into your dorm.

He’s still around here somewhere (unless he’s jumped out of a window, which is too much of a Kalim thing to do so you dispel the thought with a giggle.)

Great Seven, you’re not even close to being recovered from what just happened, but there’s no use delaying the inevitable. You make your way to you and Grim’s bedroom, hoping Jamil didn’t just dump him somewhere. Surely he’s responsible enough to not do that, right?

You discover that he does know where Grim’s bed is. Grim is still fast asleep, tucked away in his bed. You laugh again to yourself as you realize that Jamil probably still has the layout of Ramshackle memorized from when he stayed over during SDC.

“Yes, he’s fine. I made sure he didn’t wake up.” Jamil says from behind you, and you jump at the unexpected noise. Spinning around to glare at him (though the expression holds no malice), you jolt backward when you see just how close he is. He rolls his eyes at your mock annoyance and jerks his head to the left. He’s holding a tray of tea and snacks in his hands, and while the gesture would be nice from almost anyone else, you figure he’s going to use this against you later.

You enter your bedroom anyway. Jamil follows you silently and sets the tray of treats on your nightstand.

“Do you want the same thing as Leona?” you ask, sitting at the edge of the bed.

Jamil makes a quiet huffing sound under his breath but doesn’t answer your question. You let him pour the tea and hand you a teacup, and watch him as he pours a cup of tea for himself. You don’t want to push too hard, but he was the one that came to you in the first place.

“Jamil.” you say softly, reaching out and cupping his cheek, “You said you wanted compensation but all you’ve done is help me out. I need to pay you back, right?”

His eyes flicker toward you, and he sighs.

“I don’t want what Leona wants, Prefect. I was just teasing you earlier.” he mumbles, shutting his eyes as if he’s exhausted (which he probably is), “I would like to rest here with you. That’s all.”

Your mouth forms an o shape as you realize that no, the tea and snacks were not to trap you in yet another favor, but were meant to be part of your favor to him. There’s a stab of guilt in your stomach, and you swallow it uncomfortably.

“I thought the tea and snacks were for another favor you wanted paid back.” you confess, fisting your hands in your lap, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, don’t be.” his tired expression turns wicked in a split second, his eyes gleaming with mischief, “I plan to take up more of your time than Leona did. This is me paying you back.”

“That’s too many transactions.” you murmur, placing a gentle hand on his upper arm, “Just come here. “

Jamil follows your lead and clambers into bed, the springs squeaking under the extra weight. You’ve done well to keep your voice low for Grim, so much so that Jamil’s heavy sigh is the loudest sound that's been made in the room by either of you this afternoon. He slumps over against your shoulder, the top of his head bumping against your chin as his shoulders sag. You feel your heart twinge in your chest as you wrap a steady arm around him and rest your head on him, too.

You certainly wouldn’t mind if either of them wanted to do this again.

[ourbeloved1011]

Yibo is a straight man who has publicly stated countless times he’s a straight man, and he has denied cp countless times since 2019. So he’d never address a gay rumor lol. Not only would that be shameful but it would bring unnecessary and unwanted attention to him especially in a largely homophobic country like China and it’s government. As for xiao zhan he will continue leeching on Yibo because while the former’s career has stalled since 2020, Yibo continues to go higher and higher and make a name for himself in every industry that interests him (film, dance, racing, fashion, skateboarding, motorcycle, etc.). Maybe you dirty turtles will finally wake up when one of them gets married? Although it’s well known that xiao zhan is currently dating his jingjing manager. <3

I see what you're trying to do here, solo fan 🏍️Thanks for dropping by ☺️

I bet you know everything about xiao zhan, I guess? 🤔 Do you know him personally? Otherwise, you won't be spreading hate against him confidently here.

I don't have issue with solo fan. Solo fan have all my respect as long as you don't incite & encourage hatred in society.

Xz leeches on wyb? You got it wrong. They are mutually leeching on each other 🤣

No offense but your fav doesn't even know you exist. Why bother to be useless keyboard warrior? I hope you will be sued for your hateful comments one day 🫶🏻

"Yibo has publicly stated countless time he's a straight man" - he did mention this before. However, no one in their right mind will come out publicly & announce "well, actually- not really."

He's a public figure. I'll use back your word -especially in a largely homophobic country like China. Why need to self-destruct?

Personally, let me repeat this again, in my personal opinion, wyb doesn't like guy in general but xz is an exception.

I don't know if yibo is a straight guy or was a straight guy & I can neither confirm nor deny anything. Only yibo knows the truth behind his words.

Yibo: hey, I'm a straight man too.

Also yibo: 🤝🏻🫰🏻☺️😘😛😉👀 at xz. Shamelessly say I love you.

Yibo's double standard can be seen clearly when it comes to xz. What an extreme way to tease a friend. I see.

If you can't watch xz, it's ok. Just focus on yibo. Especially his eyes cos eyes never lie.

As for xz- he can date whoever he wants to. I don't own him. I don't have any right to decide on it.

Once again, I will never know for sure if yizhan is a real thing. I'm not their parent or family or close friend. There's no way- me, as a mere fan knows 100% what is real and what is not.

Some 🐢 say they will be seen together in public in 2026. To be honest, I don't even trust that 2026 prediction 😂

For me, let's say they aren't together now, at least, at some point, they did have a crush on each other esp yibo. He's wearing his heart on his sleeve 😂

Their happiness is everything. Whether they end up together or with someone else. It's their life.

That's how I see it and it's plenty enough for me. However, I've made a choice to believe that both of them are doing fine & their relationship is still going strong until today.

On what basis?

Actually, they don't have to prove to the world if they are in relationship. Somehow, they kindly leave some hidden traces to decipher from time to time. It's still ongoing.

Call it what you want. Throwing 🍬 or fanservice or leeching onto one another 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thought solo fans dont trust 🍬 ? Then please don't make fuss out of them. Let us, the dirty 🐢 enjoy & make a fool of ourselves.

Again, either one of them gets married to someone else or marry each other or never marry at all. It doesn't have anything to do with you. Your approval or your words mean nothing.

Don't act like you are the mighty one. Acting like you are on the 'right side'.

So please. Don't say to others to wake up.

You. Please. Wake up first.

We are just an unknown fan.

[l4brvtality]

Moonlight on a river 2/2

Pairings - Damian priest x Fem!Reader

Word count - 0.7k

Warning - Hurt/Confort, Fluff/ Angst

NOT PROOFREAD. Part 1

Damians POV

I walked into The Judgment Day’s locker room, getting ready for my match. But I noticed the atmosphere felt different. Dom and Finn were mostly quiet. They were never this way before?

“Guys tell me whats up why are you two so quiet?” I asked.

Dominik scratched his head as Finn opened his mouth to answer me.

“Look man we’ll talk after the promo,” Finn and Dominik both walked past me as I stared at them in shock.

After the promo , me , Finn , and Dominik walked back stage. Back to our locker room. I tried not to let my confusion get into the way of the promo, but I ofter found myself zoning out whole thinking about it. They had never acted this way towards me , so what made their feelings change? 

I sat down on the locker room bench as I waited for Finn and Dominik to talk.

“Look we know about the Y/N situation..,” Dominik spoke first.

“And we dont think what you did was valid man , I mean did you know what happened to her mom that day, and the fact you put the weight of a breakup on her is just cruel..” Finn chimed in.

I felt confused. 

“What happened with her mom?” I asked.

Dominik sighed as he began to speak.

“She got into a car crash — A drunk driver is what she said.” 

“Look the only reason we know this is because Rhea told us about. After she texted Rhea about the breakup, and she repeated what you said— she just broke down man,” Dominik had a sour look on his face , meanwhile Finn turned away from them both.

Then the realization hit me. Thats why her eyes were so red. She had been carrying a hard weight in her shoulder. And when I broke up with her , that was just the cherry in top. A heavy weight of guild filled my mind as Finn and Damian told me what had happened. By the end , I knew I had to talk to her. Make things right. That was the least I could do, I thought to myself.

Your POV

I layed in bed , curled up as a thick blanket covered my body, when I heard a key unlock the front door. My face morphed into confusion as I sat up from my curled up position in the bed. Soon enough I heard the door to now my own bedroom creak open. I felt my stomach drop as I saw a worried face. His face.

End of your Pov

He didn’t understand how you felt until he saw it. When Damian had walked into the bedroom , he first saw your worried and confused expression. Your eyes were bloodshot red and had darker spots under your eyes. 

“W-why are you here?” You asked. Your voice was shakey. Fragile. Like you could break any minute.

As you looked down, Damian came closer to your sitting figure. His hands found its place on both sides of your head. Making you look up at him. 

“I came to apologize. I didn’t know it was this bad — and I really messed up. I just want you to know it was a mistake. Ive been a mess these few days and I thought about coming back.. I did and when Dom and Finn told me what happened I knew I had to come back”.

“I know i messed up, just please ill do better this time. Im so sorry.” He finally completed his rambling as a tear rolled down onto your cheek.

“I don’t know if I could trust you so easily, b-but ill try. I just need you to regain my trust. Day by day.” You replied as  Damian blinked away the tears that threatened to drop from his eyes.

“I wanna make it up to you even if its little.” He said.

He opened his mouth to speak again. “Cmon let’s go eat dinner , and we could take a bth if you would like to?” 

I nodded as a sign of okay , and he went downstairs to get the food for us ready. A small smile found its way to my face as I finally felt joy enter my body. I was happy to finally have Damian back. You felt better already.

A/N 💬 - Im sorry this is kinda short!! But im trying to get requests done im sorry for how late its going just know im trying 💕

[days-until-burnout]

hiii sorry for bothering buttt may i request maybe scar/joel arcade au where joel wins everything for scar :333

i rlly2 like ur writings theyre all so good !!

so... FIRST OF. YOU ARE NO BOTHER. YOU DONT BOTHER ME OR ANYONE EVER. YA HEAR ME?! YOU'RE FAR FROM BOTHERING. THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST. and now, well. the original idea had more games but i got too into feelings. and... yeah. got a little angsty compared to what you asked for but that's writing for ya. hope you enjoy regardless also, thank you! i do try to write good-ish stuff despite the limited time and planning so im happy to hear you like it<3!

_____

📧 Day 22 -

Characters - Scar/Joel Words - 1,970 Time - 60 mins Content - Modern (HS/College) AU | hurt/comfort

Normally, Joel wouldn’t care about his surroundings, it was better to focus on his own thing and blend in. For as loud and imposing as he was, he rarely stuck his nose in other people’s business. But currently, the noise was getting in the way of his concentration, another missed shot. He grabbed another basketball, looked behind him to find the source of his distraction. A group of teens, all surrounding someone. He shouldn’t involve himself, way too many to handle on his own, but if he didn’t, who would stick up for whoever was at the center?

He looked around for an employee, until his attention was drawn back to the group. A panicked peace offering. Very panicked. 

“Hey, hey, hey, can’t we all get along? No need to get handsy!”

Joel frowned. The response made his skin itch. Vile words. Before he knew it, the ‘leader’ was stumbling forward, the basketball bouncing away as he approached them. Familiar faces, all of them, from the same school. His eyes flickered to the person in the center, finding Scar looking up at him with undecided fear or relief. He looked back to the ‘leader’, unamused. 

“Pick on someone your own size,” he gloated, keeping a neutral expression to their glare. He looked up when they stepped closer, anger in their eyes, a fist quick on his shirt. He glanced between his scrunched up shirt and them, giving them an out, “I dare you, tough guy.”

They glared, then shoved him back, but he planted himself firmly, barely moving. The group began to move away, going around him to not get in his way. 

He watched them all leave the arcade before turning back to Scar, who finally settled on relief. Just as Scar opened his mouth to say something, thank him probably, he walked off to find the basketball he threw, prompting walking it back to the game that had ended. With newfound peace, he threw the ball and scored though there were no points given. Scar caught up then, rolling just behind him, so he couldn’t walk away. Well, he could, but he might as well hear him out. 

“Uh– Joel, right? Thank you. You didn’t have to, I’m sorry you lost your game beca—”

“Do they pick on you?” he asked instead, not wanting to hear gratitude or apologies. After all, it wasn’t Scar’s fault, though he found it hard to let him know. 

Scar looked away then, facade breaking as he stuttered some excuses, rubbing the back of his neck and clearly lying. “I, well, no– I mean, they don’t pick on me. It’s just fun! Between friends, you know, right? Just some fun between friends, teasing and messing with each other. It’s a-okay!” Scar raised his hands and did some jazz movement, a forced smile plastered on his lips. He looked tired, which was something. Joel pinned it in the back of his mind, for later, if he still felt like dealing with all this. “And it was my fault, anyways. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I must’ve hit them with my chair accidentally. It’s all alright, trust me! I– Yeah, I can handle myself. It was all fun.”

Joel didn’t believe him. But he didn’t try to pry more either. It was whatever. 

He glanced over at another game, then back at Scar who seemed to have turmoil in his face. “You want to play?”

Scar looked up with wide eyes, almost sparkling but they quickly died, a sad smile replacing the excited o of his lips. “Oh, nonono, I couldn’t bother you with that! I was just here to watch for a bit. I have other things to do, places to be! I’m a busy person, very busy! My—”

“On a Saturday morning?”

“I, well– You never know with these things, Joel! People are busy and—”

“You owe me.”

Scar’s eyes went wide again, and Joel figured he could bully Scar into playing some games, which sounded sadistic but it was whatever. He didn’t have anywhere to be, and it was hard to ignore the guy in the wheelchair watching everyone else having fun in the arcade. His eyes flickered away as he fished out his arcade card, extending it to Scar, who looked between the piece of plastic and him. 

“Five dollars. And don’t keep me waiting.”

Hesitantly, Scar took the card and pushed himself to the counter, Joel following behind. The exchange was quick, with Scar soon turning around and extending the card. Just as he began to thank him again, Joel walked away, Scar spluttering as he followed clumsily, careful to not hit others or the machinery. Joel stopped at a water-shooting game, pointing at it as he looked at him with an expressionless face. 

“I want to play this one.”

Scar blinked seven times, opening and closing his mouth as he looked between him and the machine, timidly getting closer to tap the card on the reader. “Uh, there…”

“I wanted this one.” Joel stood on the other water-gun, and Scar reached over to tap the card. “Well, don’t waste the credit.”

“Right…” Scar placed the card on the little table, got his chair as close as he could to the seats and lifted himself on it. His hands trembled on the handles of the water-guns, staring intently at the flashing buttons in front of him before a hand reached over from his peripheral, pressing the start button. 

Joel selected the level and they began, shooting zombies in waves. It was tense, Scar constantly glancing over at Joel, who eventually caught on and stared right back, almost daring him to try again. Scar didn’t, focusing on the zombies and trying to not make a bigger fool of himself. They raked up points together, until Scar died leaving him to watch Joel’s precision aim and almost calculated movements, the quick decisions and quick thinking before dying too, which Scar noticed as Joel throwing. 

“Well… Uh, that was fun! Thank y–”

Joel got up and looked around the arcade, finding empty machines and pointing at one. “I want to play that one now.”

Joel didn’t walk away this time, and Scar wanted to give him the card, but he lifted himself back to his chair and followed over. Joel didn’t stray far. Never close enough for Scar to slip the card into the pocket of his hoodie, but still close enough that people moved out of the way. Scar felt sick, but he didn’t know if it was from the shame of Joel’s pity or… or maybe sick from happiness? If that was an option. Regardless, they arrived at another game, an aim game with clowns as their targets. 

“You… um, do you want to play together?” Scar asked, looking up at Joel who looked away from the clowns and shrugged. His heart picked up as he tapped the card on one reader, putting it down, and only exhaling when Joel stood by his side instead of going to the other machine. 

Joel showed him up at every game. And the eventual teasing began, smirks and innocent eyes. Scar found it hard to be hurt or mad or sad, found it harder and harder game after game, always aware that they spent more than the five dollars he put in. In another situation, he would’ve watched others play with a quiet jealousy, but today, he didn’t mind watching Joel killing it in games he couldn’t take part in. 

“You look good,” he blurted out randomly, mind away from how late it probably was. It was hard to tell how long they’ve spent in the arcade, much longer to tell when Joel refused to stop pointing at games and now pouting to go. 

Joel looked back over his shoulder, giving him a smirk that was more than that teasing one, not like the ones he gave him when he missed a clear shot or when he ended hundreds of points ahead, but it was a different kind of teasing. 

“On a bike, I mean. Suits you, Bad Boy and all that,” he said quickly, waving his hand about as Joel continued to drive without looking at the screen for long. It was unfair how easy Joel made all the games look, and it was even more unfair how good Joel looked while crushing said games. “You should get one.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Scar tried not to. He tried to focus on his own steering wheel with Joel beside him, he tried to not think about it on the roller coaster simulator while their shoulders pressed against each other, and he tried to not think about it as they reached the price counter. He finally stopped thinking about it when his phone rang, and he picked to hear his mom ask where he’d been without answering her for hours now. He told the truth, promised he’d be on their pick-up spot right away. 

The day was ending already? 

He didn’t want it to. 

“You want something?” Joel asked nonchalantly, prompting Scar to look up at him, staring at his profile for a moment. The lights just on the edge of his face, the rest in shadows before he turned to him, now half-half of lights and shadows. He looked at the prices, so far away and the corridor too narrow to enter. He shook his head, and Joel looked back. 

“We didn’t get enough tickets for it, anyways,” he said a chuckle, and Joel looked at him again. “And! And even if we did, five dollars don’t cover even a quarter of the tickets needed!”

“What is it?”

Scar blinked. Joel was back to earlier, all that warmth and giggles replaced with… with something. Serious? Not mean, but firm. He looked away sheepishly, “There’s that… uh, Star Wars model? But! I don’t really want it. Nope. I’d rather have a plushie or—”

“I’m getting it.”

“Wai—”

Scar didn’t chase, the path was too narrow. But he could leave. He could leave while Joel flagged an employee, he could leave while Joel made the transaction, and he could absolutely leave while Joel walked over, the model in his arm. He could. 

“Here. Hold this for me. My arms are tired.” Joel held the box between them, could very easily drop it in Scar’s lap and walk away. But he didn’t, just like how Scar didn’t leave when he could. He stood, planted in place, giving Scar the chance to reject it. Scar didn’t. “So what now? Are you leaving?”

“Uh, yeah. My mom– She will pick me up soon. Do… Um, do you need a ride home?”

Joel shook his head, ran a hand through his hair as they walked out of the arcade, headed to the lift, “Getting picked up too. Just waiting for my brother to finish work.”

Scar nodded, rolling into the lift, “So…”

“Do you come often?”

“Often? No– No, no, I don—”

“I’ve seen you around often,” Joel said as he pressed the ground floor. Joel didn’t look at him, and Scar looked at the box in his lap. “You don’t usually stay that long though. What was different today? Was it them?”

“I… No… No, I just… I was on my way to the counter to get a card…”

The wait wasn’t long. The lot was bustling with people coming in and out of the mall, everyone too busy with themselves. Before the door could open, Joel dropped the card on top of the box and took a step back. 

“Well, I’ll see you at school, I guess.” Joel glanced at his phone, turning to walk back into the mall. “Oh, and I’ll see you here next Saturday too, I guess. Bye.”

The doors closed before Scar could respond. He looked forward to it though. 

_____

is scarjoel not their ship name why dont they have posts what is up with you tumblr 🧍‍♂️ slashjay. anyhow. i... i really thought theyd be more popular but i guess not. someone should change that (i say, looking in the mirror) also. i was thinking about it, and i should probably tag the fics by universe 🤔 like: hc, life, modern, fantasy etc etc. which i will do tomorrow when i get sad for not doing much to trick my brain into thinking i was productive 👌